Quotes from Terry Pratchett

The boldest of the three moved suddenly, grabbed Angua and pulled her upright. We walk out of here unharmed or the girl gets it, all right? he snarled. Someone sniggered. I hope you're not going to kill anyone, said Carrot. That's up to us! Sorry, was I talking to you? said Carrot.

I saved a man's life once, said Granny. Special medicine, twice a day. Boiled water with a bit of berry juice in it. Told him I'd bought it from the dwarves. That's the biggest part of doct'rin, really. Most people'll get over most things if they put their minds to it, you just have to give them an interest.

In Ankh-Morpork you can be whoever you want to be and sometimes people laugh and sometimes they clap, and mostly and beautifully, they don't really care.

No other species anywhere in the world had invented boredom. Perhaps it was boredom, not intelligence, that had propelled them up to the evolutionary ladder.

Walter Plinge said: You know she asked me a very silly question Mrs Ogg! It was a silly question any fool knows the answer! Oh, yes, said Nanny. About houses on fire, I expect... Yes! What would I take out of our house if it was on fire! I expect you were a good boy and said you'd take your mum, said Nanny. No! My mum would take herself! What would you take out then, Walter? Nanny said. The fire!

Taxation is just a sophisticated way of demanding money with menaces.

First Sight means you can see what really is there, and Second Thoughts mean thinking about what you are thinking. And in Tiffany's case, there were sometimes Third Thoughts and Fourth Thoughts although these...sometimes led her to walk into doors.

People look down on stuff like geography and meteorology, and not only because they're standing on one and being soaked by the other. They don't look quite like real science. But geography is only physics slowed down and with a few trees stuck on it, and meteorology is full of excitingly fashionable chaos and complexity. And summer isn't a time. It's a place as well. Summer is a moving creature and likes to go south for the winter.

These weren't cheap modern books; these were books bound in leather, and not just leather, but leather from clever cows who had given their lives for literature after a happy existence in the very best pastures.

The landscape was snow and green ice on broken mountains. These weren't old mountains, worn down by time and weather and full of gentle ski slopes, but young, sulky, adolescent mountains. They held secret ravines and merciless crevices. One yodel out of place would attract, not the jolly echo of a lonely goatherd, but fifty tons of express-delivery snow.

Letitia! What a name. Halfway between a salad and a sneeze.

But in his experience it was only a matter of time before the normal balance of the universe restored itself and started doing the usual terrible things to him.

Things just happen, one after another. They don't care who knows. But history ... ah, history is different. History has to be observed. Otherwise it's not history. It's just... well, things happening one after another.

Either dragons should exist completely or fail to exist at all, he felt. A dragon only half-existing was worse than the extremes.

Maybe the only significant difference between a really smart simulation and a human being was the noise they made when you punched them.

I'm trying to have a moment o' existential dreed here, right? Crivens, it's a puir lookout if a man canna feel the chilly winds o' fate lashing aroound his netheres wi'out folks telling him he's deid, eh?

No. Men should die for lies. But the truth is too precious to die for.

And Tiffany knew that if a witch started thinking of anyone as just anything, that would be the first step on a well-worn path that could lead to, oh, to poisoned apples, spinning wheels, and a too-small stove... and to pain, and terror, and horror and the darkness.

Ach, people are always telling us not to do things said Rob Anybody, that's how we ken the most interesting things to do.

It wasn't that Nanny Ogg sang badly. It was just that she could hit notes which, when amplified by a tin bath half full of water, ceased to be sound and became some sort of invasive presence.

And what do you really do? asked Tiffany. The thin witch hesitated for a moment, and then: We look to ... the edges, said Mistress Weatherwax. There's a lot of edges, more than people know. Between life and death, this world and the next, night and day, right and wrong ... an' they need watchin'. We watch 'em, we guard the sum of things. And we never ask for any reward. That's important.

If you had enough money, you could hardly commit crimes at all. You just perpetrated amusing little peccadilloes.

We're on a mission from Glod.

Everyone knew there were wolves in the mountains, but they seldom came near the village - the modern wolves were the offspring of ancestors that had survived because they had learned that human meat had sharp edges.