Quotes from Terry Pratchett

We (people) only remembered that elves sang. But we forgot what they sang about.

But all this business about kings and lords, it's against basic human dignity. We're all born equal. It makes me sick.' 'Never heard you talk like this before, Frederick,' said Nobby. 'It's Sergeant Colon to you, Nobby.

In a well-organized world he might have landed on a fire escape, but the fire escapes were unknown in Ankh-Morpork and the flames generally had to leave via the roof.

A unicorn is nothing more than a big horse that comes to a point, anyway. Nothing to get so excited about.

There should be a word for the microscopic spark of hope that you dare not entertain in case the mere act of acknowledging it will cause it to vanish, like trying to look at a photon. You can only sidle up to it, lookong past it, walking past it, waiting for it to get big enough to face the world

There were actual people in the world whose idea of heaven would be a chocolate cat.

Captain Roberts went to Heaven, which wasn't everything that he'd expected, and as the receding water gently marooned the wreck of the Sweet Judy on the forest floor, only one soul was left alive. Or possibly two, if you like parrots.

Some people say you achieve immortality through your children, said the minstrel. Yeah? said Cohen. Name one of your great-granddads, then.

You don't have to chase around after creatures, Pismire had said. You watch them for long enough, and then you'll find the place to wait and they'll come to you. There's nearly always a better way of doing something.

The relevant equation is: Knowledge = power = energy = matter = mass; a good bookshop is just a genteel Black Hole that knows how to read.

I was just a kid then. But I won't forget. Nor will others. There's lots of people with reason to hate the Church.

It's hard to be an ornithologist and walk through a wood when all around you the world is shouting: 'Bugger off, this is my bush! Aargh, the nest thief! Have sex with me, I can make my chest big and red!

Rincewind's feet made their own decision and, from the point of view of his head, got it entirely wrong.

And there are those who would rather be behind evil than in front of it

Down there,' he said, 'are people who will follow any dragon, worship any god, ignore any iniquity. All out of a kind of humdrum, everyday badness. Not the really high, creative loathesomeness of the great sinners, but a sort of mass-produced darkness of the soul.

Lots of things have never happened before. We're only born once.

what was once considered impossible is now quite easily achieved. Kings and lords come and go and leave nothing but statues in a desert, while a couple of young men tinkering in a workshop change the way the world works.

A dollar for a human bought a loaf of bread that was eaten in a few bites. The same dollar for Wee Mad Arthur bought the same-sized loaf, but it was food for a week and could then be further hollowed out and used as a bedroom.

The important thing about being a leader is not being right or wrong but being certain. Of course it helps to be right as well, the Abbot conceeded.

And he read Principles of Accounting all morning, but just to make it interesting, he put lots of dragons in it.

Lu-Tze had long considered that everything happens for a reason, except possibly football.

The little dragon turned on Vimes a gaze that would be guaranteed to win it the award for Dragon the Judges would Most Like to Take Home and Use as a Portable Gas Lighter.

people went looking to find themselves and what they found was somebody else.

All witches are selfish, the Queen had said. But Tiffany's Third Thoughts said:Then turn selfishness into a weapon! Make all things yours! Make other lives and dreams and hopes yours! Protect them! Save them! Bring them into the sheepfold! Walk the gale for them! Keep away the wolf! My dreams! My brother! My family! My land! My world! How dare you try to take these things, because they are mine! I have a duty!