Quotes from Daniel Goleman

Dreams are private myths; myths are shared dreams).

People with well-developed emotional skills are also more likely to be content and effective in their lives, mastering the habits of mind that foster their own productivity; people who cannot marshal some control over their emotional life fight inner battles that sabotage their ability for focused work and clear thought. A

we have a bit of self-interest in relieving the misery of others. One school of modern economic theory, following Hobbes, argues that people give to charities in part because of the pleasure they get from imagining either the relief of those they benefit or their own relief from alleviating their sympathetic distress.

The sweet spot for smart decisions, then, comes not just from being a domain expert, but also from having high self-awareness.

But there is virtually no relationship between being an expert and being seen as someone people can trust with their secrets, doubts, and vulnerabilities. A petty office tyrant or micromanager may be high on expertise, but will be so low on trust that it will undermine their ability to manage, and effectively exclude them from informal networks.

It is with the heart that one sees rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye. ANTOINE DE SAINT-EXUPÉRY, The Little Prince

Emotional resilience comes down to how quickly we recover from upsets. People who are highly resilient—who bounce back right away—can have as much as thirty times more activation in the left prefrontal area than those who are less resilient.

In short, out-of-control emotions can make smart people stupid.

In a complex world where almost everyone has access to the same information, new value arises from the original synthesis, from putting ideas together in novel ways, and from smart questions that open up untapped potential.

In the calculus of the heart it is the ratio of positive to negative emotions that determines the sense of well- being.

the ability to monitor feelings from moment to moment is crucial to psychological insight and self-understanding. An

It's the most important relationships in your life, the people you see day in and day out, that seem to be crucial for your health. And the more significant the relationship is in your life, the more it matters for your health."43

Experience, particularly in childhood, sculpts the brain. The

A series of studies by Marian Radke-Yarrow and Carolyn Zahn-Waxler at the National Institute of Mental Health showed that a large part of this difference in empathic concern had to do with how parents disciplined their children. Children, they found, were more empathic when the discipline included calling strong attention to the distress their misbehavior caused someone else: "Look how sad you've made her feel" instead of "That was naughty.

Albert Bandura, a Stanford psychologist who has done much of the research on self-efficacy, sums it up well: "People's beliefs about their abilities have a profound effect on those abilities. Ability is not a fixed property; there is a huge variability in how you perform. People who have a sense of self-efficacy bounce back from failures; they approach things in terms of how to handle them rather than worrying about what can go wrong."24

The goal of attunement is not simply continual meshing, with an utter entrainment of every thought and feeling; it also includes giving each other space to be alone as needed. This cycle of connectedness strikes a balance between the individual's needs and the couple's. As one family therapist put it, "The more a couple can be apart, the more they can be together.

And if there are any two moral stances that our times call for, they are precisely these, self-restraint and compassion.

Academic intelligence has little to do with emotional life. The brightest among us can founder on the shoals of unbridled passions and unruly impulses; people with high IQs can be stunningly poor pilots of their private lives.

Decades before we began to drown in a sea of distractions, cognitive scientist Herbert Simon made this prescient observation: "What information consumes is attention. A wealth of information means a poverty of attention.

One friend can make the difference - even when all others turn their backs (and even when that friendship is not all that solid).

We do not compete in our careers with people who lack the requisite intelligence to enter and stay in our field—but rather against the much smaller group of those who have managed to jump the hurdles of schooling, entry exams, and other cognitive challenges to get into the field in the first place.

It's not the highs along the way that matter. It's who you become.

El recurso más precioso de un ordenador no está en su procesador, en su memoria, en su disco duro ni en la red, sino en la atención humana», concluye un grupo de investigación de la Universidad de Carnegie Mellon.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference.