Quotes from Daniel Goleman

Rumination can also make the depression stronger by creating conditions that are, well, more depressing.

Threats to our standing in the eyes of others are remarkably potent biologically, almost as powerful as those to our very survival.

26. Kieran C. R. Fox, "Is Meditation Associated with Altered Brain Structure? A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis of Morphometric Neuroimaging in Meditation Practitioners," Neuroscience and Biobehavioral Reviews 43 (2014): 48–73.

And that is the problem: academic intelligence offers virtually no preparation for the turmoil—or opportunity—life's vicissitudes bring. Yet even though a high IQ is no guarantee of prosperity, prestige, or happiness in life, our schools and our culture fixate on academic abilities, ignoring emotional intelligence, a set of traits—some might call it character—that also matters immensely for our personal destiny.

There is perhaps no psychological skill more fundamental than resisting impulse. It is the root of all emotional self-control, since all emotions, by their very nature, lead to one or another impulse to act.

We're being judged by a new yardstick: not just by how smart we are, or by our training and expertise, but also by how well we handle ourselves and each other.

practical skills that are based on its five elements: self-awareness, motivation, self-regulation, empathy, and adeptness in relationships.

The new measure takes for granted having enough intellectual ability and technical know-how to do our jobs; it focuses instead on personal qualities, such as initiative and empathy, adaptability and persuasiveness.

La vida es una comedia para quienes piensan y una tragedia para quienes sienten. Horace Walpole

We live in a world our minds build rather than actually perceiving the endless details of what is happening.

I had conjectured that today's children are unintended victims of economic and technological progress, deskilled in EI because their parents spend more time at work than in previous generations, because increased mobility has cut ties to extended family, and because "free" time has become so structured and overorganized.

Visionary leaders help people to see how their work fits into the big picture, lending people a clear sense not just that what they do matters, but also why.

The ability to control impulse is the base of will and character. By the same token, the root of altruism lies in empathy, the ability to read emotions in others; lacking a sense of another's need or despair, there is no caring. And if there are any two moral stances that our times call for, they are precisely these, self-restraint and compassion.

people with high IQs can be stunningly poor pilots of their private lives.

But amid the din and distraction of work life, poor listening has become epidemic.

Whenever you notice your mind wandering," a fundamental instruction in meditation advises, "bring your mind back to its point of focus." The operative phrase here is whenever you notice. As our mind drifts off, we almost never notice the moment it launches into some other orbit on its own.

In any interaction the more high-power person tends to focus his or her gaze on the other person less than others, and is more likely to interrupt and to monopolize the conversation—all signifying a lack of attention.

pain "is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it, and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.

Emotionally Intelligent Parenting: How to Raise a Self-disciplined, Responsible, Socially Skilled Child. New

Tightly focused attention gets fatigued—much like an overworked muscle—when we push to the point of cognitive exhaustion. The signs of mental fatigue, such as a drop in effectiveness and a rise in distractedness and irritability, signify that the mental effort needed to sustain focus has depleted the glucose that feeds neural energy.

Not that leaders need to be overly "nice"; the emotional art of leadership includes pressing the reality of work demands without unduly upsetting people.

the workings of the amygdala and its interplay with the neocortex are at the heart of emotional intelligence.

no birthday, concert, hangout session, or party can be enjoyed without taking the time to distance yourself from what you are doing" to make sure that those in your digital world know instantly how much fun you are having.

Rapport demands joint attention—mutual focus. Our need to make an effort to have such human moments has never been greater, given the ocean of distractions we all navigate daily.