Quotes from Arthur C. Brooks

When you are honest and humble about your weaknesses, you will be more comfortable in your own skin. When you use your weaknesses to connect with others, love in your life will grow. And finally—finally—you will be able to relax without worrying about being exposed as less than people think you are. To share your weakness without

Most of our days, I am thinking me, me, me. It's like watching the same dreary television show, over and over, all day long. It's so boring. Faith forces me into the cosmos, to consider the source of truth, the origin of life, and the good of others. This focus brings refreshment and relief.

They need not just whiz-bang ideas but actual wisdom that only comes with years in the school of hard knocks.

After all, as the saying goes, "Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad."[*

Sharing weakness is hard because it is the ultimate act of subversion against your special, objectified self. You won't go down without a fight!

If you're experiencing decline in fluid intelligence—and if you are my age, you are—it doesn't mean you are washed up. It means it is time to jump off the fluid intelligence curve and onto the crystallized intelligence curve.

Even better, research shows that we tend to see important past events—even undesirable ones at the time—as net positives over time.

See yourself relaxing in your humility, being yourself—and thus ready to jump to the second curve. But you still do have to jump.

It means a big life transition, and as we all know, transitions can be hard. So that's where we need to turn our attention next: making the jump.

There is a reason why so many social clubs ban the discussion of politics and religion: disagreements have ended friendships and started wars.

There is a falling tide to life, the transition from fluid to crystallized intelligence.

This discipline helps us work on mindfulness—living in the present as opposed to the past or future—which studies consistently find leads us to be happier people. But it also helps us to make the decisions that truly expose our best selves.

satisfaction is possible—just not with the old formulas. We need to toss out all that bad math and use this one equation instead, which incorporates the wisdom of Siddhartha and Thomas and the best modern social science: Satisfaction = What you have ÷ what you want Your satisfaction is what you have, divided by what you want.

Seeing it as tragedy can be easier than seeing it as opportunity.

In the words of the Spanish Catholic saint Josemaría Escrivá, "He has most who needs least. Don't create needs for yourself.

Indeed, your biggest life transition doesn't have to be a crisis or a period of loss, but rather can be an exciting adventure full of opportunities you never knew existed.

You might accurately say that falling in love is the start-up cost for happiness—an exhilarating but stressful stage we have to endure to get to the relationships that actually fulfill us. The

Psychologists have a special word for uncomfortable life transitions: "liminality."[3] It means the time between work roles, organizations, career paths, and relationship stages.

But it doesn't work: they forget you.

So when that woman in New Hampshire said that liberals are stupid and evil, she wasn't talking about me, but she was talking about my family. Without meaning to, she was effectively presenting me with a choice: my loved ones or my ideology. Either I admit that those with whom I disagree politically—including people I love—are stupid and evil, or I renounce my ideas and my credibility as a public figure. Love or ideology: choose.

The aim and final end of all music should be none other than the glory of God and the refreshment of the soul."[7]

That people with a different perspective hate our country and must be completely destroyed? That if you're not outraged, you're not paying attention? That kindness to your ideological foes is tantamount to weakness?

Psychologists have a special word for uncomfortable life transitions: "liminality."[3] It means the time between work roles, organizations, career paths, and relationship stages. The author Bruce Feiler wrote a popular book in 2020 on liminality called Life Is in the Transitions: Mastering Change at Any Age.[4]

Remember, a classic sign of addictive behavior is when something not human starts to supplant human relationships.