Quotes from Gary Chapman

I think that in today's world, by nature, we are all self-centered. And that often leads to selfishness.

If you are sitting on the couch with the TV off, and you are looking into each other's eyes and talking, that is quality time - so is taking a walk or going out to eat, so long as you are communicating with each other.

That is the idea that good Christians don't talk about sex, at least not out loud, and certainly not in the church. I want to say that both of those ideas are fallacious.

The fastest way to have a loving, supportive, understanding spouse is to become a loving, supportive, understanding spouse.

In marriage it is never having my own way. It is rather discovering our way.

Every single day in a marriage, we influence each other. It is a matter of am I going to have a positive influence or a negative influence?

God has the potential of touching people's hearts and changing them.

We cannot erase the past, but we can accept it as history.

If we are to develop an intimate relationship, we need to know each other's desires. If we wish to love each other, we need to know what the other person wants.

When you're married, the person you would most like to love you is your spouse. And if you feel loved by your spouse, the world looks bright. But if the love tank is empty, and you don't feel loved by your spouse, the world begins to look dark.

We can't determine our emotions, but we can choose our attitudes and actions.

Life's deepest meaning is not found in accomplishments , but in relationships

The desire for romantic love in marriage is deeply rooted in our psychological makeup.

I am not minimizing emotions. Emotions are an important part of life.

It is universal to give gifts as an expression of love. My academic background is anthropology, the study of cultures. We have never discovered a culture where gift-giving is not an expression of love.

I wish I'd known that apologizing is a sign of strength. I had the impression that if you apologize, it's a sign of weakness. I kind of picked up the message from my father, 'Real men don't apologize. You just do your best, and if you happen to hurt some people, that's their fault. You just go on. Don't apologize. That's a sign of weakness.'

Don't be a victim of the urgent. In the long run, much of what seems so pressing right now won't even matter. What you do with your children will matter forever.

We are trained to analyze problems and create solutions. We forget that marriage is a relationship, not a project to be completed or a problem to solve.

I would encourage you to make your own investigation of the one whom, as He died, prayed for those who killed Him: 'Father forgive them for they know not what they do.' That is love's ultimate expression.

I think the tingles are important. They are real, and I am in favor of their survival. But they are not the basis for a satisfactory marriage. I am not suggesting that on should marry without the tingles. Those warm, excited feelings, the chill bumps, that sense of acceptance, the excitement of the touch that make up the tingles serve as the cherry on top of the sundae. But you cannot have a sundae with only the cherry.

Quality time does not mean that we have to spend our together moments gazing into each other's eyes. It means that we are doing something together and that we are giving our full attention to the other person.

Empathetic listening is an awesome medication for the hurting heart.

The decision to get married will impact one's life more deeply than almost any decision in life. Yet people continue to rush into marriage with little or no preparation for making a marriage successful. In fact, many couples give far more attention to making plans for the wedding than making plans for marriage. The wedding festivities last only a few hours, while the marriage, we hope, will last for a lifetime

Material things are no replacement for human, emotional love.