Quotes from Carol Burnett

Originally, I came from Texas, and we lived on - I guess you'd call it welfare, what we called relief.

My first book was an open letter to my three daughters.

Because nobody goes through life without a scar.

But I didn't ask to have somebody nose around in my private life. I didn't even ask to be famous. All I asked was to be able to earn a living making people laugh.

But I don't begrudge anybody, because I know how hard it is to have that dream and to make it happen, whether or not it's just to put a roof over your head and food on the table.

Ask anyone who's successful how they got there, you're going to hear a different story.

When I was in college at UCLA, I took a playwriting course. I was all set to be a writer. But I had to take this acting class as a theater arts major. I had to do this scene in a one-act comedy. I just said this line, and then... this laugh happened. I thought, 'Whoa. This is a really good feeling. What have I been missing?'

If I go to a party, I'm not one to be the funniest person in the room at all.

It costs a lot to sue a magazine, and it's too bad that we don't have a system where the losing team has to pay the winning team's lawyers.

I come from Texas, and my grandmother and mother were born in Arkansas.

I think the hardest thing to do in the world, show-business-wise, is write comedy.

I had a good loud voice and I wasn't afraid to be goofy or zany.

My grandmother and I saw an average of eight movies a week, double features, second run.

I was raised going to the movies with my grandmother as a kid. And then I'd come home, and my best friend and I would act out the films that we saw.

As far as sitcoms go, I thought Jenna Elfman in 'Dharma and Greg' was a wonderful physical comedienne who had great timing.

I don't remember a time when I wasn't waiting for a scab either to grow or to fall off my knee.

I love Maya Rudolph. She's very multitalented herself.

Funny is funny. I dare anyone to look at Tim Conway and Harvey Korman doing the dentist sketch, which is more than 40 years old, and not scream with laughter.

My favourite comedian, of course, is Tim Conway. He has a way about him - being that belly-laugh kind of funny, and he has the improvisational skills, too. I've never seen anybody better.

Everybody I know who is funny, it's in them. You can teach timing, or some people are able to tell a joke, though I don't like to tell jokes. But I think you have to be born with a sense of humor and a sense of timing.

My interesting diet tips are eat early and don't nosh between meals. I mean, I can pack it away.

You do have to love your kids enough to let them hate you. But it's the disease that's hating you, not them.

I'm hooked on Glenn Close in 'Damages.'

I'm into 'House of Cards.' 'Breaking Bad' - my God, did I binge on that!