Quotes from Carol Burnett

Celebrity was a long time in coming it will go away. Everything goes away.

I love the writing. I love the idea of typing and seeing it on the computer and printing it out myself and, you know, moving sentences around. I like that.

When I left 'The Garry Moore Show,' I signed a 10-year contract with CBS.

I loved doing 'The Family' with Eunice and Mama. They were very interesting because there were no jokes written into those sketches. It was all character-driven. And sometimes it got a little heavy.

In '57, I got a job at the Blue Angel nightclub, and a gentleman named Ken Welch wrote all my material for me. I lived at a place called the Rehearsal Club that was actually the basis for a play called Stage Door.

I'm like your mother, your sister, whatever.

My preference is for people who can do sketch comedy or situational comedy, where it's not a joke, but it's telling a story.

I love 'Modern Family.' And I love 'Glee' - the singing, the music - Jane Lynch just kills me.

Just scream! You vent, and the body just feels good after a good old yell.

I am not a person who yells at all, but I realized that I have always felt so good after doing the Tarzan yell, after doing Charo, or screaming as Eunice.

I was once asked to do my Tarzan yell at Bergdorf Goodman, and a guard burst in with a gun! Now I only do it under controlled circumstances.

I do the 'New York Times' crossword puzzle every morning to keep the old grey matter ticking.

I was in California, and I was going to UCLA, and I knew I certainly didn't have movie star looks. I remember seeing pictures and photos of Ethel Merman and Mary Martin, who were kind of average looking. I said, 'Well, that's for me, then, to go back to New York and try to be in musical comedy on Broadway.'

When you have a dream, you've got to grab it and never let go.

Well, I don't know how astute I am, but I did want to be a journalist when I was growing up.

I can't tell a joke to save my soul. It's just not my thing, though I love to listen to jokes.

I was very entertained by Betty Grable and Judy Garland.

Because of YouTube, I'm getting fan mail from 10-year-olds and teenagers and college kids.

We all get where we're going by circuitous journeys, and some of the setbacks are warranted.

I'm really not that funny in real life! But I am the best audience one could find. I love to laugh.

Comedy is tragedy - plus time.

When things are a disappointment, try not to be so discouraged.

My grandmother and I would go see movies, and we'd come back to the apartment - we had a one-room apartment in Hollywood - and I would kind of lock myself in this little dressing room area with a cracked mirror on the door and act out what I had just seen.

If you want to know the feeling, just take your bottom lip and pull it over your head.