Quotes from Mark Twain

There ought to be a room in every house to swear in.

This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.

Those that respect the law and love sausage should watch neither being made.

Those who say truth is stranger than fiction have wasted their time on poorly written fiction.

Time cools, time clarifies; no mood can be maintained quite unaltered through the course of hours.

To be good is noble, but to teach others how to be good is nobler--and less trouble.

To cease smoking is the easiset thing I ever did. I ought to know, I've done it a thousand times.

Tomorrow night I appear for the first time before a Boston audience of 4000 critics.

Travel is lethal to prejudice.

Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.

Virtue has never been as respectable as money.

We all have thoughts that would shame the devil.

We are always too busy for our children; we never give them the time or interest they deserve. We lavish gifts upon them; but the most precious gift, our personal association, which means so much to them, we give grudgingly.

We are called the nation of inventors. And we are. We could still claim that title and wear its loftiest honors if we had stopped with the first thing we ever invented, which was human liberty.

We are chameleons, and our partialities and prejudices change place with an easy and blessed facility, and we are soon wonted to the change and happy in it.

We had the sky up there, and we used to lay on our backs and look up at them, and discuss whether they was made or just happened.

We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world and its efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of finding twelve men every day who don't know anything and can't read.

What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight, what counts is the size of the fight in the dog.

You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.

Youth, large, lusty, loving- Youth, full of grace, force, fascination. Do you know that Old Age may come after you with equal grace, force, fascination

Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform (or pause and reflect).

The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read.

Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.