Quotes from Mark Twain

Classic? - a book which people praise and don't read.

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.

A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.

Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

In a good bookroom you feel in some mysterious way that you are absorbing the wisdom contained in all the books through your skin, without even opening them.

Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.

Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

God created war so that Americans would learn geography.

Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.

I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know.

The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter. 'tis the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning.

I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.

Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't.

Loyalty to country ALWAYS. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it.

Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been.

Books are for people who wish they were somewhere else.

What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce.

Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination.

When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.

Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.