Quotes from Steve Martin

He had no college dreams and hence no proximity to the challenge of new faces and ideas.

Be so good they can't ignore you

I did stand-up comedy for eighteen years.

Be so good they can't ignore you.

Chaos in the midst of chaos isn't funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.

Mirabelle is not affected by a man's failure to approach her, as her own self-deprecating attitude never allows the idea that he would in the first place.

Moving on and not looking back, not living in the past, was a way to trick myself into further creativity.

as much as I had resisted the outside, as much as I had constricted my life, as much as I had closed and narrowed the channels into me, there were still many takers for the quiet heart.

might try for a doctorate in philosophy and become a teacher, as teaching is, after all, a form of show business.

I think communication is so firsbern.

a real scholar with a bright pen

Preparing for Catwoman role by leaping off roof into shrub. On third try, I managed to hit the shrub.

There's a rumor that a recent Oscar host is going to play Catwoman. Waiting by my phone for the call.

Next phase of weight loss program: Brazilian Butt Workout. I've looked at a hundred photos. So far, not working.

Rouge et Noir

Did not go well at mall. Passerby said, "how's the screenplay goin', Steve?" Worried about tomorrow's performance on CSI… and Emmy.

Rehearsing at home for tomorrow's CSI cameo, "face down dead body without a chalk outline." Maid screams. Wife calls lawyer, then 911.

How's the uh..uh..(look at palm) SCREENPLAY going… uh..uh..(racking brain) LESLIE NIELSEN." Yipes. Or:

At the mall. Think I'll do some rehearsing. Lie on sidewalk, get into "dead guy" character. Quite hard to do without chalk outline.

career in the irrational world of creativity not only made sense but had moral purpose.

You know what your problem is, it's that you haven't seen enough movies - all of life's riddles are answered in the movies.

Having few interests to sustain her, over the next few years she fell into a vacant, mental decline.

I'm not sure what I meant, but I wanted to use the lingo, and it was seductive to make these pronouncements. Through the years, I have learned there is no harm in charging oneself up with delusions between moments of valid inspiration.

I guessed that one day the restrictions I imposed on myself would end. But first, it seemed that my range of possible activities would have to iris down to zero before I could turn myself around. Then, when I was static and immobile, I could weigh and measure every exterior force and, slowly and incrementally, once again allow the outside in. And that would be my life.