Quotes from Steve Martin

Kids like my act because I'm wearing nose glasses. Adults like my act because there's a guy who thinks putting on nose glasses is funny.

I thought 'Borat' was a breakthrough comedy, because it was really funny. It wasn't some studio-produced script with 14 writers.

Deeply funny musings and adventures elevate Paul Rudnick to the highest level of American comedy writing.

It was so sweet backstage, you should have seen it - The Teamsters were helping Michael Moore into the trunk of his limo.

I'm a bitter, sad, sour young man who makes a career out of hastling people with real careers.

The operation was a success, but I'm afraid the doctor is dead.

I believe that sex is the most beautiful, natural, and wholesome thing that money can buy.

All I've ever wanted was an honest week's pay for an honest day's work.

Hosting the Oscars is like making love to a beautiful woman - it's something I only get to do when Billy Crystal's out of town.

I handed in a script last year and the studio didn't change one word. The word they didn't change was on page 87.

There is one thing I would break up over and that is if she caught me with another woman. I wouldn't stand for that.

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.