Quotes from Dick Gregory

In most places in the country, voting is looked upon as a right and a duty, but in Chicago it's a sport.

There is a limit on how much information you can keep bottled up.

When I first broke through, there was only NBC, CBS and ABC, and they had news in the morning and in the evening - there wasn't no 24-hour news.

You hear entertainers all the time, saying, 'If I couldn't get paid for this, I'd do it for free.' When's the last time you ever heard a business person say, 'If I couldn't get paid for being chairman of British Petroleum, I'd do it for free'?

When you have a good mother and no father, God kind of sits in. It's not enough, but it helps.

My mother was the sweetest lady who ever lived on this planet, but if you tried to tell her that Jesus wasn't a Christian, she would stomp you to death.

Coconut milk is the only thing on this planet that comes identically to mother's milk.

At the very last moment, Nature would force you to blink your eye. Nature will protect her own.

America will tolerate the taking of a human life without giving it a second thought. But don't misuse a household pet.

Pets are found to suffer from all the ailments known to the human.

What price would God demand from the churches for having the audacity to lighten the color of his son's skin, and straighten out his nappy hair?

I feel that the same God-force that is the mother and father of the Pope is also the mother and father of the loneliest wino on the planet.

The only good thing about the good old days is they're gone.

If democracy is such a good thing, let's have more of it.

Once I realised the value of making people laugh, I got very good at it. Fast.

We thought I was going to be a great athlete, and we were wrong, and I thought I was going to be a great entertainer, and that wasn't it either. I'm going to be an American Citizen. First class.

To me, seeing a really great comedian is a bit like watching a musician or a poet.

One of the things I keep learning is that the secret of being happy is doing things for other people.

When I tune into my beautiful self, I get happiness. Everything in the universe belongs to me.

I won't say I'm out of condition now - but I even puff going downstairs.

The United States is the most dishonest, ungodly, unspiritual nation that ever existed in the history of the planet.

Political promises are much like marriage vows. They are made at the beginning of the relationship between candidate and voter, but are quickly forgotten.

People with high blood pressure, diabetes - those are conditions brought about by life style. If you change the life style, those conditions will leave.

When I was a boy, I was taught never to use insulting expressions like, 'I've been gypped,' or, 'He welshed on the deal.'