Quotes from Jeff Kinney

I don't know if this makes me a bad person or whatever, but it's hard for me to get interested in other people's vacations.

First of all, let me get this straight: This is a JOURNAL, not a diary. I know what it says on the cover, but when Mom went out to buy this thing I SPECIFICALLY told her to get one that didn't say 'diary' on it.

It's not easy to writing thank-you notes for the stuff you didn't want in the first place.

I've seen a lot of movies where a kid my age finds out he's got magical powers and then gets invited to go away to some special school. Well, if I've got an invitation coming, now would be the perfect time to get it

But the thing I'm finding out is some people don't really appreciate it when you'r trying to be helpful.

Youre gonna grow up and marry some ice cream! Haha!

I'm basically one of the best people I know.

I realised all the good ideas were taken before I was even born.

that if you don't read nobody does

Loded Diaper

Holly is the fourth-prettiest girl in the class, but the top 3 all have boyfriends. So a lot of guys like me are doing everything they can to get in good with her.

Chirag: Rowley, do you think I exist? Rowley: Nope! I can't even hear you or see you!

The only reason I get out of bed at all on weekends is because eventually I can't stand the taste of my own breath any more.

Be yourself and people will like you.

hot pink looks cute on only janet which is MEEEEEEE!!!

I got to give mom credit for how she handled it.She didn't try to pry and get all the details. All she said was that I should try to do "the right thing" because it's our choices that make us who we are. I figure that's pretty decent advice. But I'm still not 100% sure what I'm going to do tomorrow.

When you're used to having electricity and then all of a sudden it's taken away, you're basically just one step from being a wild animal.

Mom is always saying I'm a smart kid, but that I just don't apply myself.

Greg starts a middle school and asks: Why is "bullies" such a big PROBLEM? And says people need to shave twice a day.

no matter how nice you are to some people, they'll turn their back on you the second they get the chance.

I like turtles!!!!

And if you don't spend every second outdoors, people think there's someting wrong with you.

I'm having a seriously hard time getting used to the fact that summer is over and I have to get out of bed every morning to go to school.

fish and visitors stink in 3 days.