Quotes from Kin Hubbard

Many a family tree needs trimming

No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.

Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people.

The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you.

There is nothing so aggravating as a fresh boy who is too old to ignore and too young to kick.

It's pretty hard to be efficient without being obnoxious.

Nobody ever forgets where he buried a hatchet.

Gossip is vice enjoyed vicariously - the sweet, subtle satisfaction without the risk.

It's pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness. Poverty and wealth have both failed.

Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune.

A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen.

We like little children, because they tear out as soon as they get what they want.

The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them.

The hardest thing is to take less when you can get more.

Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.

Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best.

Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people.

Being an optimist after you've got everything you want doesn't count.

A bargain is anything a customer thinks a store is losing money on

There is nothing so aggravating as a fresh boy who is too old to ignore and too young to kick.

The alimentary canal is thirty-two feet long. You control only the first three inches of it. Control it well.

Whoever takes just plain ginger ale soon gets drowned out of the conversation.

Why doesn't the fellow who says, "I'm no speechmaker," let it go at that instead of giving a demonstration?

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.