Quotes from Charlie Kaufman

Where is the B. who didn't at all like speculative fiction writers, with the exception of Margaret Atwood and the Jewish triumvirs: Asimov, Ellison, and Tidhar?" "Really?" I say. "Tidhar? Jesus Christ." "Yes," she screams. "Tidhar! You loved Tidhar!

When one considers the multitude of unsung of every race, ethnicity, gender, perhaps toiling away in obscurity, their work thrown out after their deaths by philistine relatives and vulgarian landlords, one must weep. And one does.

The world needs you. It doesn't need you at a party having read a book about how to appear smart at parties – these books exist, and they're tempting – but resist falling into that trap. The world needs you at the party starting real conversations, saying, 'I don't know,' and being kind.

I wanted to do something that I don't know how to do, and offer you the experience of watching someone fumble, because I think maybe that's what art should offer. An opportunity to recognise our common humanity and vulnerability.

Say who you are, really say it in your life and in your work...Give that to the world, rather than selling something to the world. Don't allow yourself to be tricked into thinking that the way things are is the way the world must work and that in the end selling is what everyone must do. Try not to.

If we are witnesses without memory, we are not witnesses at all. A hollow cylinder through which the wind blows will not remember the whistle it produces.

The next morning, I play the recording for Ocky. It is regular Friends. Monica makes a pie.

Starbucks is the smart coffee for dumb people. It's the Christopher Nolan of coffee. Dunkin' Donuts is lowbrow, authentic. It is the simple, real pleasure of a Judd Apatow movie. Not showing off. Actual. Human.

Starbucks is the smart coffee for dumb people. It's the Christopher Nolan of coffee. Dunkin' Donuts is lowbrow, authentic. It is the simple, real pleasure of a Judd Apatow movie. Not showing off. Actual. Human. Don't compete with me, Christopher Nolan. You will always lose. I know who you are, and I know I am the smarter of us.

The internet. Everything one needs at one's fingertips. There have been no doubt studies demonstrating how this has affected people's memories in the negative. I will have to look those up online.

It's weird to be a human. We get to think about things, we get to wonder. It seems like quite a privileged position in the universe. And I wouldn't give it up for certainty because when you're certain you stop being curious. And here's the one thing I know about the thing you're certain about; you're wrong.

Our work is to reflect the world, say what is true in the face of so much lying.

Is it a metaphorical accident that the cranium will fuse in months to come, thus ensuing the illustrated close-mindedness, the inevitable, tragic separation of I from the World? The ego always wins, of course. And at what price?

From here on, I will submit to great art. It will do with me as it sees fit. I will go where it tells me. I will let it in, let it tear me limb from limb, eradicate me, rebuild me in its own image. I will dwell in it as does a subject in a heavenly kingdom. I will never again attempt to own anything: no film, no person, no idea.

It is so American, fire. So like us. Its desolation. And its eventual, brief triumph.

I have fallen into black despair as I watch myself age, as I watch people on Facebook I care about fall sick, physically and mentally, as I watch the sincere hopefulness of our young people wither, to be replaced by their callow and pathetic hopefulness. They don't know, but we do. They will know. And perhaps we will have the last laugh, if we live long enough to see them know what we know. One can only hope.

I have often felt that I am being watched. That my life is being witnessed by unseen forces, that adjustments are made as these forces see fit, to thwart me, to humiliate me.

start. It occurs to me that both in my dreams and in my waking life there exists the same question: What now? Something happens or nothing happens, and either way, I have to decide what to do next. There is no end to it. Well, no, there is one end to it, and that revelation leads me to this conclusion: "What now?" is the definition of life.

I have a tendency to hire people who tend to be unattractive to the studios. Maybe this is a bad idea.

I do like escapism. I like going to the movies on a Friday night and seeing something fun.

If you create something that is asking for people to respond as they're going to respond, you have to allow them to respond as they're going to respond. Some of the people are going to be uninterested and some people are going to be mad for some reason, which is their business. That's just the way the world is.

I studied acting at Boston University. I was in the theater department there. Somewhere in there I decided that wasn't what I was going to do and I went to the B.F.A. film program at N.Y.U.

Directing is a more pragmatic experience, where you have to deal with the restrictions of time and money that force you to make certain decisions you don't have to make when you're writing.

I really don't have any solutions and I don't like movies that do.