Quotes from Earl Wilson

You can say this for ready-mixes — the next generation isn't going to have any trouble making pies exactly like mother used to make.

Always remember, money isn't everything - but also remember to make a lot of it before talking such fool nonsense.

Experience is what enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

The man who didn't want his wife to work has been succeeded by the man who asks about her chances of getting a raise.

A vacation is what you take when you can no longer take what you've been taking.

If you wouldn't write it and sign it, don't say it.

Snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough.

One way to get high blood pressure is to go mountain climbing over molehills.

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

Nowadays people can be divided into three classes - the haves the have-nots and the have-not-paid-for-what-they-haves.

Success is simply a matter of luck. Ask any failure.

Success is a matter of luck. Ask any future.

A vacation is what you take when you can no longer take what you've been taking.

You may not be able to read a doctor's handwriting and prescription, but you'll notice his bills are neatly typewritten.

Experience is what enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt.

Nonchalance is the ability to remain down to earth when everything else is up in the air.

An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen.

Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death.

Today's accent may be on youth, but the stress is still on the parents.

Success is a matter of luck. If you want proof, ask any failure.

He's an honest man - you could shoot craps with him over the telephone.

Gossip is when you hear something you like about someone you don't.

Benjamin Franklin may have discovered electricity, but it was the man who invented the meter who made the money.