Quotes from Ilona Andrews

He killed a man," Mom said. "He was framed," Grandma Frida said. "You don't even know the story," Mom said. Grandma shrugged. "Framed. A man that pretty can't be a murderer." Mother stared at her. "Penelope, I'm seventy-two years old. You let me enjoy my fantasy." "Go Grandma." Arabella pumped her fist in the air.

Settle down, Princess. It's not my first time.

He stepped forward, took a deep breath, and doubled over in a sneezing fit. My werewolf was allergic to tortoises. Why me?

How do yo feel about her doing this? That had to be Mahon. That low-pitched growl could only come from him. We let each other be who we are, Curran said. I don't have to like all of the things she has to do. I love her.

Kate had never met a person she didn't want to protect, preferably by hacking at the hostile parties with her sword.

Juke glanced into her cup before tipping it down to her mouth. Screw you! Now come on, sugar, you know I don't swing that way. Whatever!

You've been here before? Derek asked, his gaze firmly fixed on Rowena's ass shifting under the shimmering green silk a few steps above us. Wiggles, I told him. He blinked, then realized I wasn't referring to Rowena's backside.

What's the deal with the hair?" Curran tore his gaze from the book and grimaced. "Grows every flare. Can't help it. We stared at each other. "Waiting for the Fabio joke," he said.

He said, 'Yeah, but will I get chicks? In truckloads?

I'm going to find Julie and I'll ground her ass until she forgets what the sun looks like, and then I'll go over to that school and pull their legs out.

Do you ever think of anything but sex?" "Yes, I do. Sometimes I think of waking up next to you. Or making you laugh.

I don't see what the big deal is." "It's a sword made out of your grandmother's bones, Kate." I shrugged.

Some women waited for a night in shining armor. She, apparently, had ended up with a knight in black jeans and leather, who wanted to chase her down and have his evil way with her.

An evil light sparked in his eyes. You could always go for Plan B. Pound everyone to a bloody pulp until they shut up and cooperate? Exactly. -Curran and Kate

Rose pictured him standing at the boundary of the Ogletree house in that enormous fur cape, with a giant sword sticking over his shoulder, roaring at the top of his lungs and then being upset that nobody came out, and laughed.

The good doctor put a spoon of tea into my honey. You're drinking tea a honey badger made, Jim said. What did you expect?

My father knew he was a bastard. He was the venomous serpent in a bed of roses. Apparently, he didn't just acknowledge that fact, he beat people over the head with it. All that was missing was a neon sign that read EVIL AND CONFLICTED ABOUT IT with a flashing arrow pointing at his head.

Stealers, keepers.

We need a barn or one of those storage areas for the Broken vehicles. A garage? He gave her a short nod. A private, relatively remote location, with thick walls to dampen the sound and preferably a sturdy door I could bolt from the inside, keeping your grandmother, your brothers, and all other painfully annoying spectators out... Rose began to laugh. A make-out bunker... I'm glad you find our dilemma hilarious

The woman stared at the ruined body. Blood dripped from her arm. A fine spray of red covered her face --must've been cast off when she slammed down the cans. She wiped her face with her left forearm and kicked the stalker's corpse with her sneakered foot. Don't mess with Texas.

Kid 1: *examining my gorgeous strawberry and blueberry pies*: Wow, Mom, your pies don't look awful this time. Me (Ilona): ... ~A little later~ Kid 2: *wandering into the kitchen* Kid 1: Hey, you've got to see these pies. *opening the stove* Kid 2: Wow. They are not ugly this time. Kid 1: I know, right?

It was the kind of place you went when your earthly troubles became too much for you and you were looking for a creative way to commit suicide.

The concepts of right or wrong are always consequential. It can't be situational or it's not right or wrong.

Yep." Eloquence 'R' Us. When in trouble, keep it monosyllabic—safer that way.