Quotes from Derek Landy

What does a clue look like?" Tanith whispered. Stephanie fought the giggle down and whispered back. "I'm looking for a footprint or something." "Have you found one yet?" "No. But that's probably because I haven't moved from this spot." "Maybe we should move, pretend we know what we're doing." They started to walk, very slowly, still looking straight down.

Stephanie could see the greed seep into the watery eyes of her father's other brother, a horrible little man called Fergus, as he nodded sadly and spoke sombrely and pocketed the silverware when he thought no one was looking

I love stories with a happy ending," Inspector Me said.

It's a white-knuckle roller-coaster ride.

Do you think it would be quite so easy to kill them now that your weapon has been destroyed?' he sneered. 'No,' she said, frowning at him, 'Obviously not.

Well," her mother said, looking at the engine, "at least that's still there." "Do you know anything about engines?" Stephanie asked. "That's why I have a husband, so I don't have to. Engines and shelves, that's why men were invented." Stephanie made a mental note to learn about engines before she turned eighteen. She wasn't too fussed about the shelves.

The workshop door opened and Skulduggery emerged. "Ryan," he said, "stop leaning on my car.

Oh, escape is easy once you have the right plan.' 'Do we have the right plan?' 'Not yet.' 'Do we have any plan?' 'Not yet.

You said I was your number-one pick." "And you are. In our hearts. Alphabetically, though, Dusk comes before you.

When I meet people, I no longer say "Hi, I'm Derek Landy, pleased to meet you." Now I say "Hi, I'm number one bestselling author Derek Landy. Worship me.

People!" she screamed. "There are people here! New people!

He said a bad word. Do you want to know what it was? It started with F. It's not the one you're thinking of, though. To the other one. The one that ends with P. do you want to know what it was? It was troop." She frowned. "Wait that's not a word.

While my insides may be rotten, I still like a good reason to kill someone. It has to be either business, personal, or out of sheer boredom.

Well, yeah, but she looks , like, twenty-two. And she acts like a four-year-old.

Are you hurt? Are you injured?" / "No, just a bruise or two. I'm fine, really. You don't have to worry about me." / "Stephanie, you jumped off a building." / "Yes, but the branches broke my fall. Every one of them." / "And how were the branches?" / "A lot unlike pillows.

You're seventeen. You're supposed to be dealing with school and hormones and dim-witted parents. You're supposed to be finding out who you are as a person." "But I already know who I am," Valkyrie said. "I'm a world-breaker.

Sanguine chuckled. "I like you, boy. You got optimism in these bones. I like you so much that I ain't gonna tell you what I did to poor old Jethro, the first Jethro, may he rest in peace, may they someday find his head.

Because I'm an English ninja," Tanith replied. "We're just like regular ninjas, except we wear leather and flirt more.

She wants to be polite and not hurt your feelings, so she's not going to laugh right now. But inside, inside she's laughing.

Valkyrie smiled patiently. "I like how you do your make-up. Do you use a brush, or just dip your head in the bucket?

Dexter, please put your shirt on. Valkyrie's getting distracted." "I'm not," she said, then smiled at Vex. "You don't have to put your shirt on.

Even as she'd been writing it, she wondered if she was using too many exclamation marks, but she was glad she left them in. Nothing says "all is good in the world" like exclamation marks, after all.

There's nothing I would change about the last few years. Valkyrie has proven herself to be an astonishing individual and one I would gladly lay down my life for, such as it is. How many people leading normal lives would you be able to say that about?" "Until the end," Valkyrie said softly. Skulduggery looked at her, his head tilting gently.

This book is dedicated to you. Whether you are a Minion or a Skuttlebug or just, you know, a normal person, it's because of you that I get to do what I love and laughingly call it work. I know some of you by name and some of you by sight (and some of you by smell, but let's not get into that) but there are still countless others I have never met, and to all of you I say thank you for your support, your passion, and your lunacy.