Quotes from Doug Larson

They should have picked a different city to name after a man who reputedly never told a lie.

What some people mistake for the high cost of living is really the cost of living high.

People are living longer than ever before, a phenomenon undoubtedly made necessary by the 30-year mortgage.

The real secret of patience is to find something to do in the meantime.

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city it might be better to change the locks.

Some of the world's greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible.

Nostalgia is a file that removes the rough edges from the good old days.

Bad news travels fast. Good news takes the scenic route.

One nice thing about telling a clean joke is there's a good chance no one's heard it before.

Real elation is when you feel you could touch a star without standing on tiptoe.

The world is full of people looking for spectacular happiness while they snub contentment.

There must be a happy medium somewhere between being totally informed and blissfully unaware.

Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.

There's nothing like having grandchildren to restore your faith in humanity.

Never doubt the courage of the French. They were the ones who discovered that snails are edible.

Few things are more satisfying than seeing your own children have teenagers of their own.

Establishing goals is all right if you don't let them deprive you of interesting detours.

A perfect example of the power of prayer is when a blizzard closes the schools on the day of a big exam.

A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows.

To err is human; to admit it, superhuman.

If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles.

The reason people blame things on previous generations is that there's only one other choice.

There are few things more satisfying than seeing your children have teenagers of their own.

Establishing goals is all right if you don't let them deprive you of interesting detours.