Quotes from Anonymous

When you see a married couple coming down the street the one who is two or three steps ahead is the one who's mad.

It's not that I'm too particular. It's just that I'm going to wait for Dr. Right.

I don't like being best man at a wedding 'cause there's no way to prove it.

Definition of a bachelor: A man who likes to invite girls over for a Scotch and sofa.

No woman ever shot her husband while he was doing the dishes.

The last word in an argument is what a wife has. Anything a husband says after that is the beginning of another argument.

He loved her for what she was - rich. He worshiped the ground her family struck oil on.

What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is at all times? A widow.

Arguing with my wife is like this: "I came! I saw! I concurred!"

A smart husband buys his wife very fine china so she won't trust him to wash it.

They were married for better or worse. He couldn't have done better and she couldn't have done worse.

The man who boasts he never made a mistake is often married to the woman who did.

This is a perfect pair - he's a hypochondriac and she's a pill.

You might try doing what my folks did. Twice a week they would go out for a special meal. . . with wine good food and soft lighting. Dad took Tuesday and Mom took Thursday.

He had a great sound system - but he didn't know much about fidelity.

After our honeymoon I felt like a new man. She said she did too.

My wife divorced me because of illness. She got sick of me.

I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first divorced me and the second won't.

For their last anniversary she gave him a set of luggage - packed.

A faithful husband is one whose alimony check is always on time.

Not all of his relationships were meant to end . . . Once he sent a postcard and inadvertently wrote "Wish you were her."

Going shopping with your husband is like his going fishing with the game warden.

A husband always prefers his wife's mother-in-law to his own.

Have you hugged yourself today?