Quotes from Bill Hicks

I'm totally confused about what I'm going to do with my life.

Will there be titty? Sure. Boom! I'm a producer. Where you been all our life, boy? We been lookin for you in Hollywood.

Listen, the next revolution is gonna be a revolution of ideas.

There is no such thing as death; life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves.

Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don't know one child with a full time job and children.

I hate patriotism... I can't stand it. It's a round world last time I checked.

Life is only a dream and we are the imagination of ourselves.

Eternal suffering awaits anyone who questions god's infinite love.

Shut up! Go back to bed, America. Your government is in control. Here's Love Connection. Watch this and get fat and stupid.

I love the Pope, I love seeing him in his Pope-Mobile, his three feet of bullet proof plexi-glass. That's faith in action folks! You know he's got God on his side.

I love talking about Kennedy assassination...a great archetypal example of how totalitarian government...sorry, wrong meeting.

You ever noticed how people who believe in Creationism look really un-evolved? Eyes close together, eyebrow ridges, big furry hands and feet. "I believe God created me in one day." Yeah, looks like He rushed it.

I loved when Bush came out and said, "We are losing the war against drugs." You know what that implies? There's a war being fought, and the people ondrugs are winning it.

Why do we put people who are on drugs in jail? They're sick, they're not criminals. Sick people don't get healed in prison. You see? It makes no sense.

Women priests. Great, great. Now there's priests of both sexes I don't listen to.

If you don't think drugs have done good things for us, then take all of your records, tapes and CD's and burn them.

If you're so pro-life, do me a favour: don't lock arms and block medical clinics. If you're so pro-life, lock arms and block cemeteries.

Music is a great energizer. It's a language everybody knows.

Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don't know one child with a full time job and children.

One of my big fears in life is that I'm going to die and my parents are going to have to clear out my apartment and find that porno wing I've been adding on for years. There'll be more than one funeral that day.

Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Heres Tom with the Weather.

They lie about marijuana. Tell you pot-smoking makes you unmotivated. Lie! When you're high, you can do everything you normally do just as well — you just realize that it's not worth the fucking effort. There is a difference.

If you want to understand a society, take a good look at the drugs it uses. And what can this tell you about American culture? Well, look at the drugs we use. Except for pharmaceutical poison, there are essentially only two drugs that Western civilization tolerates: Caffeine from Monday to Friday to energize you enough to make you a productive member of society, and alcohol from Friday to Monday to keep you too stupid to figure out the prison that you are living in.