Quotes from Eoin Colfer

Er... WARP: Witness Anonymous Relocation Programme.' 'That sounds like they threw in Anonymous to fit the name WARP. Otherwise they'd have WRP and what kind of acronym would that be?

We hebben de wereld gered, of in ieder geval ervoor gezorgd dat de twee werelden niet met elkaar in botsing zijn gekomen.' Artemis knikte. 'Het wordt er niet eenvoudiger op. Misschien moet iemand anders het nu maar eens doen.' Holly gaf hem speels een stomp tegen zijn arm. 'Die stijl van ons heeft toch verder niemand?

We don't use the term savage Injun anymore. Some people take issue with being described as savages. Go figure.

Killing the devil cannot be a sin.

Peace be inside me, tolerance all around me, forgiveness in my path. Now, Mervall, show me where the filthy human is, so that I may feed him his organs.

In advance I beg you not to be insulted, for I do respect you.' 'Oh, I love these questions. Go on.

Guide Note: For the past three decades of real time, the human Arthur Dent had made his life infinitely more miserable than it needed to be by displaying a spectacular ability to say the right thing but at the wrong time.

Friese boeren eten alle dagen grauwe capucijners. - Butler

Ik weet het nog goed,' begon Wurm melodramatisch. 'Het was een donkere nacht.

Illegal, yes, but almost everything I do is illegal, so why start worrying now?

Ik heb een speciale klus voor je, Gé.' … 'Is dit zo'n klus waarbij je een grote beloning krijgt als je het goed doet?' 'Nee,' antwoordde Carla. 'Dit is zo'n klus waarbij je een pijnlijke beloning krijgt als je het verkeerd doet.' Turf zuchtte. Was er dan nooit meer eens iemand aardig?

Now, Master Fowl, let's talk, shall we?

Root was blij dat hij iemand had tegen wie hij kon schreeuwen. 'Bek houden, veroordeelde!

More to follow.

Nee,' zei ze, 'ik zal hem niet missen.' Maar haar ogen vertelden een heel ander verhaal.

I need to sleep, he thought wearily. But not to dream.

Artemis kneep in de brug van zijn neus. 'Je hebt natuurlijk gelijk. Ik ben hier het meesterbrein. Het denkwerk is mijn verantwoordelijkheid, niet de jouwe.' Holly keek hem met samengeknepen ogen wantrouwend aan. 'Was dat een belediging, Modderjongen?

The sun was already long past the spire when Garrick purchased a mug of coffee from his regular man on the tip of Oxford Street. But his palate had been educated by 21st century coffee, and he judged this mug as bilge water not fit for the Irish.

Foaly almost grinned. Whatever I need to do.

That bloody guide lies all the time. It's more lies than truth.' Ford spouted the standard line: 'The Hitchhiker's Guide is a hundred per cent accurate. Reality, however, is not as reliable

And the motive for all this subterfuge? Simple. Something his Nano had told him a long time ago. "People buy comfort," she had said, slitting a pig's throat with a corn sickle. "If you make them comfortable, then they will buy whatever you are selling." The combination of wisdom and arterial blood spray was irresistible and Hillman never forgot his grandmother's lesson.

Still more revelations: Squib: What's your opinion of Game of Thrones , boss? Angry clattering of furniture. Vern: Game of Thrones ? Are you trying to push my buttons, kid? Game of fucking thrones ! Those dragons are like servants - you see me doing any fucking mother of dragon's bidding? I'd never serve humans! Squib: I didn't mean nothing - Vern: Goddamn lapdog CGI motherfucking fire lizards. Heap of shit. Conclusion: Vern really did not like Game of Thrones.

ISBN 978-1-4231-3219-6

School trip, Mother. Skiing in Austria.