Quotes from P.G. Wodehouse

It is futile to advance the argument that glasses are unromantic. They are not. I know, because I wear them myself, and I am a singularly romantic figure, whether in my rimless, my Oxford gold-bordered, or the plain gent's spectacles which I wear in the privacy of my study.

I might, that is to say, be safe from the dragon, but what about the hippogriffs? That was the question I asked myself. What price the hippogriffs?

Jeeves—my man, you know—is really a most extraordinary chap. So capable. Honestly, I shouldn't know what to do without him.

A man thinks he is being chilled steel – or adamant, if you prefer the expression – and suddenly the mists clear away and he finds that he has allowed a girl to talk him into something frightful. Samson had the same experience with Delilah.

you can't start painting portraits till people come along and ask you to, and they won't come and ask you to until you've painted a lot first. This makes it kind of difficult for a chappie.

Nobody ever wants to do anything except what they are not allowed to do.

How would this do you, Bingo? I said at length. A few plovers' eggs to weigh in with, a cup of soup, a touch of cold salmon, some cold curry, and a splash of gooseberry tart and cream with a bite of cheese to finish? I don't know that I had expected the man actually to scream with delight, though I had picked the items from my knowledge of his pet dishes, but I had expected him to say something.

Lady Underhill, having said all she had to say, recovered her breath and began to say it again. Frequent iteration was one of her strongest weapons. As her brother Edwin, who was fond of homely imagery, had often observed, she could talk the hind-leg off a donkey. You

Excuse me, I must go and putt

Jeeves. Sir? Are you busy just now? No, sir. I mean, not doing anything in particular? No, sir. It is my practice at this hour to read some improving book; but, if you desire my services, this can easily be postponed, or, indeed, abandoned altogether.

His brow was sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought and his air that of a man who, if he had said ''Hullo, girls'', would have said it like someone in a Russian drama announcing that Grandpapa had hanged himself in the barn.

A more practised physiognomist would have been able to interpret that look. It was the one that butlers always wear when they have allowed themselves to be persuaded against their better judgement into becoming accessories before the fact in the theft of their employers' pigs.

Bar a weekly wrestle with the Pink 'Un and an occasional dip into the form book I'm not much of a lad for reading, and my sufferings as I tackled The Woman (curse her!) Who Braved All were pretty fearful.

And you call yourself a pal of mine! Yes, I know; but there are limits. Bertie, said Bingo reproachfully, I saved your life once. When? Didn't I? It must have been some other fellow then. Well, anyway, we were boys together and all that. You can't let me down. Oh, all right, I said. But, when you say you haven't nerve enough for any dashed thing in the world, you misjudge yourself.

I left him thinking it over. If I were a bookie, I should feel justified in offering a hundred to eight against. You can't have approached him properly. I might have known you would muck it up, said young Bingo. Which, considering what I had been through for his sake, struck me as a good bit sharper than the serpent's tooth.

I don't mind admitting that, whenever I looked at Cyril's face, I always had a feeling that he couldn't have got that way without its being mostly his own fault.

Not only had its expression, as he spoke of Pauline, been that of a stuffed frog with a touch of the Soul's Awakening about it, but it

restaurant in the rain, and note what time someone

You know, Bayliss, said Jimmy thoughtfully, rolling over on the couch, life is peculiar, not to say odd. You never know what is waiting for you round the corner. You start the day with the fairest prospects, and before nightfall everything is as rocky and ding-basted as stig tossed full of doodlegammon.

what is a pleasant voice if the soul be vile?

Upon Mr Stoker replying that he did not care what he had promised or what he had not promised and continuing to asseverate that not a penny of his money should be expended in the direction indicated, his lordship, I regret to say, became somewhat unguarded in his speech.

Golf, like measles, should be caught young, for, if postponed to riper years, the results may be serious.

That's all, except for the Choir-Boys' Hundred Yards Handicap, for a pewtermug presented by the vicar – open to all whose voices have not broken before the second Sunday in Epiphany.

What ho, Stinker.' 'Hallo, Bertie.' 'Long time since we met.' 'It is a bit, isn't it?' 'I hear you're a curate now.' 'Yes, that's right.' 'How are the souls?