Quotes from P.G. Wodehouse

It is a disturbing thought that we suffer in this world just as much by being prudent and taking precautions as we do by being rash and impulsive and acting as the spirit moves us.

have to decide on the spur of the moment. I was reading in the paper the other day about those birds who are trying to split the atom, the nub being that they haven't the foggiest as to what will happen if they do. It may be all right. On the other hand, it may not be all right. And pretty silly a chap would feel, no doubt, if, having split the atom, he suddenly found

And when a woman says "Oh!" like that, it means all the bad words she'd love to say if she only knew them.

There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature.

There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature.

And she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.

The voice of Love seemed to call to me, but it was a wrong number.

He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more.

There are moments, Jeeves, when one asks oneself, 'Do trousers matter?'" "The mood will pass, sir.

It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.

He had the look of one who had drunk the cup of life and found a dead beetle at the bottom.

Red hair, sir, in my opinion, is dangerous.

At the age of eleven or thereabouts women acquire a poise and an ability to handle difficult situations which a man, if he is lucky, manages to achieve somewhere in the later seventies.

I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.

Freddie experienced the sort of abysmal soul-sadness which afflicts one of Tolstoy's Russian peasants when, after putting in a heavy day's work strangling his father, beating his wife, and dropping the baby into the city's reservoir, he turns to the cupboards, only to find the vodka bottle empty.

Everything in life that's any fun, as somebody wisely observed, is either immoral, illegal or fattening.

She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say "when".

I always advise people never to give advice.

A melancholy-looking man, he had the appearance of one who has searched for the leak in life's gas-pipe with a lighted candle.

If there is one thing I dislike, it is the man who tries to air his grievances when I wish to air mine.

Unseen in the background, Fate was quietly slipping lead into the boxing-glove.

Mike nodded. A sombre nod. The nod Napoleon might have given if somebody had met him in 1812 and said, "So, you're back from Moscow, eh?

I am not always good and noble. I am the hero of this story, but I have my off moments.

It was one of those parties where you cough twice before you speak and then decide not to say it after all.