Quotes from P.G. Wodehouse

The world is full of men who ought never to shave their upper lip, and Blair Eggleston was one of them. Coming out into the open, as it were, like this, he had revealed himself the possessor of a not very good mouth. A peevish mouth. The sort of mouth that bred doubts in a girl.

A few moments later the man was with us, looking so brainy and intelligent that my heart leaped up as if I had beheld a rainbow in the sky. 'Oh, Jeeves,' I yipped. 'Oh, Jeeves,' yipped Aunt Dahlia, dead heating with me.

In our moments of distress we can see clearly that what is wrong with this world of ours is the fact that Misery loves company and seldom gets it.

One glance at the girl convinced R. Jones that he had been right. Circumstances had made him a rapid judge of character, for in profession of living by one's wits in a large city, the first principle of offence and defence is to sum people up at first sight.

Mrs Pringle's aspect was that of one who had had bad news round about the year 1900 and never really got over it.

There is a point beyond which the human brain loses its kinship with the Infinite and becomes a mere seething mass of deleterious passions. Malays

Ski-ing, indeed! What on earth does the fellow want to ski for? Isn't there enough sadness in life without going out of your way to fasten long planks to your feet and jump off mountains?

And if I didn't burn the thing, how else could I get rid of it? Fellows on the battle-field eat dispatches to keep them from falling into the hands of the enemy, but it would have taken me a year to eat Uncle Willoughby's Recollections.

You know, you smoke too much, Pat, said his wife, seizing the opening with the instinct which makes an Irishman at a fair hit every head he sees.

Peter looked at her gravely. I'm putting up with a lot for your sake, he said. You needn't. Why don't you go away? And leave you chained to the rock, Andromeda? Not for Perseus!

A] single glance told him that here was somebody who was sitting on a pink cloud with a rainbow round his shoulder. Mr. Trout had not yet burst into song with a hey nonny nonny and a hotchacha, but when you said that you had said everything.

Look at the tall, thin one with the face like a motor-mascot. Has he ever done an honest day's work in his life? No! A prowler, a trifler, and a blood-sucker! And I bet he still owes his tailor for those trousers!

What it all boils down to, if you follow me, is that certain blokes — me, for example — have got much too much of the ready, while certain other blokes — the martyred proletariat, for instance — haven't got enough. This makes it fairly foul for the m.p., if you see what I mean.

Many men in Packy's position would have shrunk from diving in to the rescue, fully clad. Packy was one of them.

Promptitude—Courtesy—Intelligence

A left jab from him had all the majesty of a formal declaration of war.

We shall get into that series of 'Husbands and Wives Who Work Together.

Surgit amari aliquid'.

You must never, never subordinate your hero

A breezy disregard for the preservation of the pence was a family trait.

I think that you would find a steady married man an improvement on these wild, flower-pot-throwing bachelors. If it would help to influence your decision, I may say that my bride-to-be is Miss Halliday, probably the finest library-cataloguist in the United Kingdom.

Modesty, if one may trust to the verdict of the mass of mankind, is a good quality. It sweetens the soul and makes for a kindly understanding of one's fellows.

But he has. Much funnier. In a way it was a sort of compliment, but Archie felt embarrassed. He withdrew coyly into the cushioned recess.

Anna parlava allegramente del più e del meno e io tacevo, perché la mia anima non era che un cumulo di emozioni ribollenti.