Quotes from Melody Beattie

Today, God, help me to know that it is okay to allow myself to be human. Help me not to feel guilty or punish myself when I need to "fall apart.

We've realized that women have souls, and men have feelings.

Today, I will remember that there is no situation that can't be benefited by taking care of myself.

The greatest gift we can bring to any relationship wherever we go is being who we are.

Codependency is about normal behaviors taken too far. It's about crossing lines.

Go easy. You may have to push forward, but you don't have to push so hard. Go in gentleness, go in peace. Do not be in so much of a hurry. At no day, no hour, no time are you required to do more than you can do in peace.

Letting go helps us to to live in a more peaceful state of mind and helps restore our balance. It allows others to be responsible for themselves and for us to take our hands off situations that do not belong to us. This frees us from unnecessary stress.

We can let ourselves enjoy life. If we want something and can afford it, buy it. If we want to do something that is legal and harmless, do it. When we're actually involved with doing something that is recreational, don't find ways to feel bad. Let go and enjoy life.

We can confuse love with dependency, manipulation, and neediness. None of those are love. Love is when we want other people to be who they are.

Reactionaries...just feeling urgent and compulsive is enough to hurt us. Someone does something, so we must do something back Someone says something, so we must say something back. Someone feels a certain way, so we must feel a certain way. WE JUMP INTO THE FIRST FEELING THAT COMES OUR WAY AND THEN WALLOW IT.

It's okay to succeed, to have good things, and to have loving relationships that work.

Detachment involves "present moment living"—living in the here and now. We allow life to happen instead of forcing and trying to control it. We relinquish regrets over the past and fears about the future. We make the most of each day. Detachment

Others do not have our magic. We have our magic. It is in us.

When you let go of fear and the need to control, you'll experience how mysterious, sacred, and interesting Life can be.

Today I will stop trying to control my relationships. I will participate at a reasonable level and let the other person do the same. I can let go, knowing that the relationship will find its own life-or not-and that I don't have to do all the work, only my share.

they had felt so much hurt that hostility was their only defense against being crushed again.

Work at learning to have fun. Apply yourself with dedication to learning enjoyment. Work as hard at learning to have fun as you did at feeling miserable.

Whatever problem the other person has, codependency involves a habitual system of thinking, feeling, and behaving toward ourselves and others that can cause us pain. Codependent behaviors or habits are self-destructive. We frequently react to people who are destroying themselves; we

Stop picking on yourself, worrying if you're good enough, wondering what people will see if you let them see your heart. This is what they'll see: that you are a lovable and delightful soul, a beautiful child of God.

an emotional, psychological, and behavioral condition that develops as a result of an individual's prolonged exposure to, and practice of, a set of oppressive rules—rules which prevent the open expression of feeling as well as the direct discussion of personal and interpersonal problems."2

Whatever we try to control does have control over us and our life.

We don't have to be controlled by what other people say; we don't have to try to control them with our words and special effects. We don't have to be manipulated, guilted, coerced, or forced into anything. We can open our mouths and take care of ourselves! Learn to say: "I love you, but I love me, too. This is what I need to do to take care of me." We

I believe detachment can become a habitual response, in the same manner that obsessing, worrying, and controlling became habitual responses—by

The test, the mark, of a person that's on a spiritual path is whether they can live in harmony.