Quotes from Craig Johnson

He turned, and I followed him toward Rezdawg as Wiggins called after us. "Hey, when are you going to give me that truck of yours?" He waved the kid away. "When I am through with it!" We slammed the doors, and I listened as he ground the starter. On the fifth try, it caught and shuddered a cloud of bluish smoke that we had to back through. "He can have it now as far as I'm concerned." We

He began moving again, and I spoke after him under my breath in a voice he couldn't have possibly heard. "I wish I had as much faith in me as you do in me." But nonetheless, did. "So do I.

Isaac, everything to do with women is foolish and, therefore, absolutely essential.

The steam rolled out as I opened the container and prepared to eat Dorothy's famous Brookville, Kansas, recipe chicken. It was a religious experience.

The best reason I can think of for having children is that it is a marvelous excuse for taking naps." I

empty can back on the bar. There wasn't anything here for me, my head hurt, I was tired, and it was possible that I'd lose my patience, so I figured the best thing for it was to go

The Blue Cow had been a restaurant longer than it'd been a casino; its MONTANA BREAKFAST! SERVED ALL DAY! AS FEATURED IN READER'S DIGEST! consisted of a half pound of bacon, four jumbo eggs, twelve pancakes, three-quarters of a pound of hash browns, a pint of orange juice, and endless coffee—a western epic, well known across the high plains.

Olives with the juice and onions." Carlton nodded. "Fighting scurvy, is she?

Maybe it was just what happens when you finally get something you want and it turns out not to be what you wanted after all. You spend most of the time in life running after things that aren't that important, and the pursuit becomes more desirable than the prize.

I took a deep breath in an attempt not to be cruel, but some situations are deserving of it and some people, too.

There's a tendency in our society to romanticize the exploits of outlaws and gangsters, an insistence that they're Robin Hood–type characters, that they have more in common with us than the people whom we hire to protect us and enforce our laws. I don't buy that. I think that when you pick up a gun and use it to take things away from people, it doesn't matter how clever or charming you are—you're just a thief, plain and simple.

famous quote from the Lakota chief Red Cloud states that men do that which is difficult while women do that which is impossible

I steered us across a bridge that had been made from an old freight car, a common practice in our part of the world, and pulled up to a number of strands of barbed wire with a steel sign affixed, which read KEEP OUT, PRIVATE PROPERTY, followed by TRESPASSERS WILL BE PROSECUTED. I slowed the truck to a stop and looked at the shiners riding shotgun. "Feel like doing something unlawful?" She cracked the passenger door open and climbed out. "Always, and all ways.

I've always been taught that religion is supposed to be a comfort to people, not a threat. I think these people have perverted something that's supposed to be holy and turned it into a weapon.

There are a lot of theories about how you can tell if somebody is lying to you, did you know that?" He didn't answer but slid the cup the rest of the way toward him and stuck the straw in his mouth. "All kinds of indicators. The only ones that are really hard to catch are pathological liars because they have trouble themselves discerning between a lie and the truth—they blur those lines so much that they can't tell the difference anymore.

This is how it will defeat you, by distracting you - it is like life, you can live it or be continually distracted until you are surprised to discover that like smoke from a dead fire, it is gone.

Just enough time to make the announcement and answer a few questions." Vic joined him. "But not too many." "And then run out the door." He shook his head. "Flight being the better part of valor in politics.

When an old man dies, a library burns to the ground." "Voltaire?" I shook my head. "An old African proverb.

In my limited experience with politicians, I have learned that you do not have to be right all the time, but that it is absolutely essential to never appear wrong.

The Cedar Man also began looking familiar, and I recognized him as Willis Weist, who had disappointed my mother; she had observed him going to as many as four white-person church services each Sunday. A confirmed Methodist, she'd finally asked him which one he liked the best, to which he had responded, "Pentecostal." My heartbroken mother asked why. He'd shrugged, "Because they have the best potluck dinners." There

I was playing an angle, but most inhabitants of the reservation hated Indian Police even more than us. We were just whites. They were apples, red on the outside, white on the inside.

The cowboy in the middle has nothing to do. No responsibility, except to avoid the odd scrotal meeting with the gear shift.

Where do they get parts on a Sunday; Buell Hardware is closed." Her eyes narrowed. "I get them the supplies, Walter. The Lord provides, but I don't think that extends to plumbing parts.

Capital punishment is an extreme sanction that would perhaps have been suitable for this most extreme of crimes, but we make mistakes, and taking another life due to human error is the worst we can do in a society based on law. And even if we get it right, killing the killer is not going to bring back the victims.