Quotes from Daniel J. Siegel

teach reflection, relationships, and resilience.

While many different animal species have nervous systems that enable anticipation of events—for example, learning that a flashing light is associated with a reward in a conditioned learning experiment—planning for the future seems to be a prefrontal invention.

Effective discipline means that we're not only stopping a bad behavior or promoting a good one, but also teaching skills and nurturing the connections in our children's brains that will help them make better decisions and handle themselves well in the future. Automatically. Because that's how their brains will have been wired.

Utiliza los momentos de disciplina como oportunidades para enseñar y crear aptitudes. Modela la amabilidad, el respeto y el cuidado de uno mismo. Discúlpate cuando pierdas una oportunidad de conectar o metas la pata de otra manera. Ellos

Kids whose parents talk to them about their feelings also develop a more robust emotional intelligence and can therefore be better at noticing and understanding their own and other people's feelings. Neurons that fire together wire together, changing the changeable brain.

activate them in a moment of distress by first connecting before redirecting.

As parents become more aware and emotionally healthy, their children reap the rewards and move toward health as well. That means that integrating and cultivating your own brain is one of the most loving and generous gifts you can give your children.

ayudar a los niños a sentirse 1) seguros: se sienten protegidos y libres de todo mal; 2) vistos: saben que les importas y les prestas atención; 3) consolados: saben que estarás a su lado en los malos momentos; y 4) a salvo: basándose en las otras condiciones, confían en que, previsiblemente, los ayudes a sentirse «a gusto» en el mundo, y después aprenden a ayudarse a sí mismos a sentirse seguros, vistos y consolados.

prefrontally mediated, in which we attribute these shifts to what we've seen in the other person. Naturally, such a complex pathway can be bogged down by rigid valenced plateaus of probability, which skew accurate interpretations of the meaning of sensations.

When we give a child the opportunity to decide how he should act, rather than simply telling him what he should do, he becomes a better decision maker. And that's one of the ultimate goals of parenting, isn't it?

What lesson do I want to teach in this moment? Again, the goal of discipline isn't to give a consequence. We want to teach a lesson—whether it's about self-control, the importance of sharing, acting responsibly, or anything else.

La mente en desarrollo: cómo interactúan las relaciones y el cerebro para modelar nuestro ser. Va

With practice, you'll be enriching not only your attentional skills, but your experience of consciousness and of the mind itself.

When that trait is an integrated mind, this means that we can move from automatic reactivity without choice to the freedom of responsiveness with choice.

asking ourselves these three questions—why, what, and how

However, if we truly love our kids and want what's best for them, we need to be able to tolerate the tension and discomfort they (and we) may experience when we set a limit. We want to say yes to our children as often as possible, but sometimes saying no is the most loving thing we can do.

parenting matters, even to the extent of influencing our inborn and genetically shaped temperament.

Our kids don't usually lash out at us because they're simply rude, or because we're failures as parents. They usually lash out because they don't yet have the capacity to regulate their emotional states and control their impulses.

Deja pasar las nubes de las emociones: enseña que los sentimientos vienen y se van

when your seven-year-old becomes defiant and calls you "Fart-face Jones" after you tell him it's time to leave his playdate, he's actually saying, "I need skill building when it comes to handling myself well and communicating my disappointment respectfully when I don't get my way." By misbehaving, kids actually communicate to us what they need to be working on—what has not yet been developed or what specific skills they need practice with.

When children are securely attached to their parents, they feel safe enough to test that relationship. In

You're probably not going to enjoy discipline, or look forward to future meltdowns. But when you realize that these "misbehavior moments" aren't just miserable experiences to endure, but actually opportunities for knowledge and growth, you can reframe the whole experience and recognize it as a chance to build the brain and create something meaningful and significant in your child's life.

Pero los hallazgos en distintas áreas de la psicología del desarrollo sugieren que todo lo que nos sucede –la música que oímos, las personas a las que queremos, los libros que leemos, la clase de disciplina que recibimos, las emociones que sentimos– tiene una gran influencia en el desarrollo de nuestro cerebro.

And for those with an enlarged amygdala, which is involved in excessive emotional reactivity, mind training leads to a decrease in this overly differentiated neural node of our emotional life.