Quotes from Daniel J. Siegel

when a child is upset, logic often won't work until we have responded to the right brain's emotional needs. We call this emotional connection "attunement,

we can use these opportunities to realize that at these moments, logic isn't our primary vehicle for bringing some sort of sanity to the conversation. (Seems counterintuitive, doesn't it?) It's also crucial to keep in mind that no matter how nonsensical and frustrating our child's feelings may seem to us, they are real and important to our child. It's vital that we treat them as such in our response.

Integrar el yo y el otro · Equipados para un «nosotros»: Busca maneras de sacar partido a la aptitud innata del cerebro para la interacción social. Crea modelos mentales positivos de relaciones. · Lo que puedes hacer:

The absence of limits and boundaries is actually quite stressful, and stressed kids are more reactive. So when we say no and set limits for our children, we help them discover predictability and safety in an otherwise chaotic world. And we build brain connections that allow kids to handle difficulties well in the future.

No-Drama Discipline allows us to communicate to our children, "I'm with you. I've got your back. Even when you're at your worst and I don't like the way you're acting, I love you, and I'm here for you. I understand you're having a hard time, and I am here.

Para llevar una vida equilibrada, valiosa y creativa, llena de relaciones personales bien conectadas, es crucial que nuestros dos hemisferios actúen conjuntamente.

In other words, deep, empathic connection can and should be combined with clear and firm boundaries that create needed structure in children's lives.

La mente humana es un proceso relacional y corpóreo que regula el flujo de energía y de información».2 Ni más ni menos.

Once she had connected with him right brain to right brain, it was much easier to connect left to left and deal with the issues in a rational manner. By first connecting with his right brain, she could then redirect with the left brain through logical explanation and planning, which required that his left hemisphere join the conversation.

Scientists talk about these lower areas as being more primitive because they are responsible for basic functions (like breathing and blinking), for innate reactions and impulses (like fight and flight), and for strong emotions (like anger and fear).

simultaneously we need to get continual feedback about how our clinical evaluation and interventions are going and be open to letting go of considered specifics, of moving back from the peaks of activation and plateaus of probability into the plane of possibility. Such feedback is a key element of effective psychotherapy of all sorts (see

Your anger—along with other strong emotions and bodily functions and instincts—springs from your downstairs brain.

Para nosotros, imponer disciplina se reduce a una simple frase: conectar y redirigir. Nuestra primera respuesta debe ser siempre ofrecer conexión tranquilizadora; a continuación podemos redirigir conductas. Incluso cuando decimos «no» al comportamiento de los niños, siempre hemos de decir «sí» a sus emociones y a su manera de experimentar las cosas.

la conciencia se fragmenta y eso da lugar a la experiencia de una mente disociada con problemas para regular la emoción, tratar con otras personas, manejar la frustración y simplemente avanzar en la vida de una manera coherente.

As we join in this moment in the physical realm—making appointments to be in the same space at a given interval of the clock—our nervous systems align their firing patterns as two sets of electrochemical entities phase shift

while the downstairs brain is well developed even at birth, the upstairs brain isn't fully mature until a person reaches his mid-twenties.

understand. Such an approach

NUESTRA DISCIPLINA SE BASA EN EL CASTIGO Y NO EN LA ENSEÑANZA El propósito de la disciplina no es asegurarnos de que cada infracción tenga su correspondiente castigo. El objetivo real es enseñar a los niños a vivir bien en el mundo. Sin

On the subjective side of reality, resonance can be detected internally as we look to the other and recognize evidence that the other is changed because of our own internal world. We see a tear forming at the edge of the other's eyes as we have just told a sad story. We

The upstairs brain remains under massive construction for the first few years of life, then during the teen years undergoes an extensive remodel that lasts into adulthood.

CREEMOS QUE SI ESTAMOS IMPONIENDO DISCIPLINA, NO PODEMOS SER AFECTUOSOS Y ACOGEDORES Mientras impones disciplina a tu hijo, puedes estar perfectamente tranquilo, además de mostrarte cálido y cariñoso. De hecho, es importante combinar límites claros y coherentes con empatía afectuosa. No subestimes el poder de un tono amable de voz cuando mantienes con tu hijo una conversación sobre la conducta que quieres cambiar. En

No se sentirán tristes o enfadados o dolidos o solos eternamente. Éste es un concepto que al principio les cuesta entender. Cuando sienten dolor o miedo, a veces les resulta difícil imaginar que no van a seguir sufriendo siempre. Ver las cosas a largo plazo no suele ser fácil ni siquiera para un adulto, y mucho menos para un niño pequeño

This is really important information for parents to understand, because it means that all of the abilities on the list above—the behaviors and skills we want and expect our kids to demonstrate, like sound decision making, control of their emotions and bodies, empathy, self-understanding, and morality—are dependent on a part of their brain that hasn't fully developed yet. Since the upstairs brain is still under construction, it isn't capable of fully functioning

The amygdala's job is to quickly process and express emotions, especially anger and fear.