Quotes from Lemony Snicket

And a refrigerator may hold a basket of strawberries, which would be important if a maniac said to you, "If you don't give me a basket of strawberries right now, I'm going to poke you with this large stick.

It was a puzzle, a dark and lonely one, and if I were a piece in this puzzle, I did not know where it belonged. I needed to put myself aside, just for a little while, until I saw where I might fit in.

José!" Sunny shrieked, which probably meant something like "No way!

The way sadness works is one of the strange riddles of the world.

Sometimes, the information you need is not in the most obvious place.

I'm sure you have heard it said that appearance does not matter so much, and that it is what's on the inside that counts. This is, of course, utter nonsense, because if it were true then people who were good on the inside would never have to comb their hair or take a bath, and the whole world would smell even worse than it already does.

It is one of life's bitterest truths that bedtime so often arrives just when things are really getting interesting.

It is always cruel to laugh at people, of course, although sometimes if they are wearing an ugly hat it is hard to control yourself. But

Duncan kept his hand on Violet's and talked to her about terrible concerts he had attended back when the Quagmire parents were alive, and she was happy to hear his stories. Isadora began working on a poem about libraries and showed Klaus what she had written in her notebook, and Klaus was happy to offer suggestions. And Sunny snuggled down in Violet's lap and chewed on the armrest of her seat, happy to bite something that was so sturdy.

One could say, in fact, that no story really has a beginning, and that no story really has an end

In the vast majority of cases, however, getting into trouble has nothing to do with one's self-esteem. It usually has much more to do with whatever is causing the trouble—a monster, a bus driver, a banana peel, killer bees, the school principal—than what you think of yourself.

I'd worry about your chaperone. She's trapped, like a spider caught in a web." "Spiders make webs," I said. "They don't get caught in them." "I meant a fly," Stew growled. "How in the world would a spider get caught in a fly?

Mob psychology," Sunny said, remembering a term Klaus had taught her shortly before she took her first steps.

Some of the simplest things in life are the most difficult to imagine.

I looked at the poor, sickly plant, trying to grow in the coffee grounds instead of the earth, where it belonged. I wondered what happened to things that grew up in the wrong place.

These three man," Mimi said, "are suspects in a recent theft. Last night, Polly Partial received a shipment of twenty blueberry pies. This morning she counted them and came up short." "How many are missing?" I asked. "Last night she had twenty," Harvey said, shutting the station door, "and today she found zero. So at least eighteen are missing." "At least." I agreed.

It is a curious thing, but as one travels the world getting older and older, it appears that happiness is easier to get used to than despair.... It is almost as if happiness is an acquire taste, like coconut cordial or ceviche, to which you can eventually become accustomed, but despair is something surprising each time you encounter it.

the treachery of the Inhumane society was controlled by one man. As a brilliant scientist, he could have saved the town, but instead he fed on the loneliness and discontent of the fading town, and pushed people in the direction hw thought was right.

A secret note is secret. There is no reason to sign it.

As far as I could tell, people didn't do things because they were good or evil. They did things because they could not think of what else to do

But unlike this book, the dictionary also discusses words that are far more pleasant to contemplate. The word "bubble" is in the dictionary, for instance, as is the word "peacock," the word "vacation," and the words "the" "author's" "execution" "has" "been" "canceled," which make up a sentence that is always pleasant to hear. So

Newspaper stories aren't always accurate," Klaus said nervously. The shopkeeper frowned. "Nonsense," he said. "The Daily Punctilio wouldn't print things that aren't true. If the newspaper says somebody is a murderer, then they are a murderer and that's the end of it. Now you said you wanted to send a telegram?

Talán nem igazi erkölcsi mondanivaló az, hogy "itt vannak egymásnak", de nekik, hármuknak legalább vigaszt nyújtott ez a gondolat. Az, hogy "itt vannak egymásnak", éppen annyit jelentett a számukra, mint a viharban hányódónak a mentÅ'hajó, és Å'k tudták, hogy ez valójában mekkora szerencse.

It was a mystery, like what the S stood for in Theodora's name. I kept walking, with nothing but solitude for company. "Solitude" is a fancy name for being all by yourself. It's not a bad name, I thought.