Quotes from Lemony Snicket

What are your names?" "You know our names," Violet said curtly, a word which here means "tired of Count Olaf's nonsense." "That wig and that lipstick don't fool us any more than your pale-brown dress and sensible beige shoes. You're Count Olaf.

So unless you have been very, very lucky, you know that a good, long session of weeping can often make you feel better, even if your circumstances have not changed one bit. So

When I was shipwrecked recently, for instance, I had the fortune to wash aboard a barge where I enjoyed a late supper of roast leg of lamb with creamed polenta and fricassee of baby artichokes, followed by some aged Gouda served with roasted figs, and finished up with some fresh strawberries dipped in milk chocolate and crushed honeycomb, and I found this to be a wonderful antidote to being tossed like a rag doll in the turbulent waters of a particularly stormy creek.

meeting, but first they must travel in a rattletrap submarine to the Gorgonian Grotto, a dangerous underwater cave, in search of the sugar bowl. ISBN 0-06-441014-5—ISBN 0-06-029642-9 (lib.

Popinsh!" Sunny shrieked. "Sunny means," Violet said, "that Dr. Orwell hypnotized Klaus and caused that terrible accident, didn't she?" "Conceivably," Shirley said. "And he's being hypnotized again, right now, isn't he?" Violet asked. "It's within the bounds of the imagination," Shirley said.

A morning breeze blew through the campus of Prufrock Preparatory School, rustling the brown lawn and knocking against the stone arch with the motto printed on it. "Memento Mori"-"Remember you will die." The Baudelaire orphans looked up at the motto and vowed that before they died, they would solve this dark and complicated mystery that cast a shadow over their lives.

The map is not the territory," Snicket's chaperone advises him. "That's an expression which means the world does not match the picture in our heads.

buildings—faded brick buildings enclosed by a faded brick wall. A school, perhaps, or the estate of a dull family. The buildings had once been elegant, but many of the windows were shattered

You're not a receptionist!" Violet cried. "I certainly am," Shirley said. "I'm a poor receptionist who lives all by herself, and who wants very much to raise children of her own. Three children, in fact: a smartypants little girl, a hypnotized little boy, and a buck-toothed baby.

The trick is to succumb to enough pressure that you do not drive your peers away, but not so much that you end up in a situation in which you are dead or otherwise uncomfortable. This is a difficult trick, and most people never master it, and end up dead or uncomfortable at least once during their lives.

Wishing is merely a quiet way to spend one's time before the candles are extinguished on one's birthday cake

You'll soon find out that much of this job involves a lot of waiting around," the hook-handed man said. "I usually keep something around to help pass the time, like a deck of cards or a large rock.

Behind these two booths was an enormous roller coaster, a phrase which here means "a series of small carts where people can sit and race up and down steep and frightening hills of tracks, for no discernible reason

Are you ready?" Klaus asked finally. "No," Sunny answered. "Me neither," Violet said, "but if we wait until we're ready we'll be waiting for the rest of our lives. Let's go.

Lucky don't listen to your sister

Toodle-oo, orphans!" Shirley said. Klaus looked at Shirley and waved back as Violet and Sunny led him by the hand out of the waiting room. "How could you wave to her?" Violet hissed to her brother, as they walked back down the hallway. "She seems like a nice lady," Klaus said, frowning. "I know I've met her somewhere before.

Of course, all nights are dark days, because night is simply a badly lit version of day, due to the fact that the Earth travels around and around the sun reminding everyone that it is time to get out of bed and start the day with a cup of coffee or a secret message folded up into a paper airplane that can sail out the barred window of a ranger station.

out of my way cakesniffers

It is very embarrassing to cry when other people can see you, but it is something we all do eventually.

And Klaus, you are still wearing those idiotic glasses from reading too many books.

Akroyd!" Sunny cried, a phrase which here means "Roger.

Whether is was Uncle Monty's library of reptile books, or Aunt Josephine's library of grammar books, or Justice Strauss's library of law books, or, best of all their parents' library of all kinds of books - all burn up now, alas - libraries always made them feel a little better. Just knowing that they could read made the Baudelaire orphans feel as if their wretched lives could be a little brighter.

It was an emergency," Violet said calmly, "so I picked the lock." "How did you do that?" Mr. Poe asked. "Nice girls shouldn't know how to do such things." "My sister is a nice girl," Klaus said, "and she knows how to do all sorts of things.

I've read up to Lot #49, which is a valuable postage stamp.