Quotes from Richard Kadrey

Glocks: the only guns that come with a side of daddy issues.

I've swallowed enough sand that I'm going to shit cinder blocks.

Things are bad enough without getting cancer too," he says. "It's never too late to develop bad habits.

One rule of thumb in fighting is that crazy can often overcome skill and numbers, because, while a trained fighter might actually enjoy going up against another trained fighter, no one really wants to wrestle with crazy. Crazy doesn't know when it's winning. And crazy doesn't know when to stop.

I'll keep in touch." "Good," says Matthew. "Now get the hell out of here. People see your ugly ass hanging around, it brings down property values.

With a coterie of unpleasant residents doing mischief with travelers." "What's a coterie?" "A somewhat large group." "How large?" "Some say an army," said Ipos. "But a minor one." "Why didn't you say so? It sounds completely reasonable." "Good." "No, it doesn't. I was being sarcastic." Merihim frowned.

Home late. Be naked.

I wander back to Musicals and wonder for a minute if Janet would like something stupid like Xanadu or Roller Boogie. But I shove them back into the display bin because I don't want to die of a disco aneurysm. I grab Urgh! A Music War, but put that back too.

I wait up front like some asshole whose mom is picking out his suit for prom night right in front of all the mean girls from school.

They weren't a particularly bright people and disappeared along with their island in a volcanic mishap.

I came back to earth to kill things, so I have to expect things to fight back occasionally.

All great men begin as fools. It's one of life's little jokes.

Are we in danger?" he says. "It depends on what you mean by 'we.'" "Am I in danger?" "That's the first smart thing anyone's said to me today. And, yes, you really are. So do what I tell you.

Here's to all the guys better looking than us. May they all die first.

Start talking or we're going to see if you can dog-paddle through fire. I wonder if fried Hellion tastes like spicy or original recipe?

And if he's found guilty?" "Then his fate will be that of all the ignobles.

I bark some healing hoodoo at him to try to close the gash in his scalp. I don't need him dying on me until I get to question him. Soon, his eyes flutter open. He stares at the sky for a few seconds, trying to get his brain moving again. So I start with the easy stuff first.

Geryon looks at me like I'm a moldy ham sandwich someone forgot in the back of the fridge at work.

That's where you're wrong. When a tidal wave washes out the luau, you surf it and look for land.

Bless me, Father, for I have sinned." "Then you'll fit in just fine around here," he says.

Finally, he says, "Who are you?" I say, "No one important. Who are you?" He has to think about it for a few seconds. Sort through a lot of mental detritus before he comes up with something. No, this guy hasn't chatted in a long time. "Billy?" he says. "Billy Boop.

We follow Daja to a Hellion motor home. It looks less like something your grandparents would drive to the Grand Canyon and more like a Gothic mansion on wheels—one designed by insects and decorated by something with more tentacles than taste. Hellion chic. Daja opens the door and we go in.

Sometimes I feel like I've seen too much of the universe and don't want to see one more inch." "Aww. Someone needs a burping.

Maybe I'll live long enough to find out. The way the day is going, though, I'll be lucky to make it through the appetizer course.