Quotes from Richard Kadrey

Abbot's place looks like a storage crate fucked an outhouse and they had an ugly baby.

I tap a Malediction out of the box, fire it up, and puff. It tastes like a tire fire in a candy factory next door to a strip club. The best cigarettes in the universe.

Short of flamethrowers, nukes, or a bunch of trained Drifter killers, the best strategy is nature's simplest: run like you're a zebra at a waterhole and a pride of lions just showed up with ketchup and silverware.

Seven stones. Seven stones to chase away the devil. Are you trying to prove that you're not afraid of me, Jimmy? That's adorable. And how very Old Testament. Don't tell me that you've gone and read a book?" "I saw it in an old monster movie." "Phew." Lucifer picks up a stone between his thumb and forefinger, takes my hand, and drops the stone into it. "Keep it. You just might need it someday, Sandman Slim.

Come on, man. You think I wanted this gig? You told me to ask for a job.

The closer I get, the shittier Abbot looks. His hair is long and he seems weak and frail. He was never a big guy and it looks like he lost twenty pounds and his surgical mask droops on his face. With his bony cheekbones, when he smiles he looks like a well-dressed corpse.

Interesting fact: Most crabs don't have even a basic grasp of physics.

From beneath the Disney new-releases rack, Kasabian's head begins to wail. "Oh God! Oh Jesus, fuck! I'm dead!" It's quality wailing. Downtown, I became kind of a connoisseur of wailing and this is prime stuff. "I'm dead! I'm dead!

Traven stares at Cherry grinding away on my crotch. He looks like the most puzzled holy man since Jesus saw Judas order fajitas at the Last Supper.

Dead, lost, and with only half a pack of smokes. The dictionary definition of Hell." "Amen

Memories are bullets. Some whiz by and only spook you. Others tear you open and leave you in pieces.

Did I hurt your feelings again? Sorry. When this is all over I'll send some flowers to your inner child.

Try not to sing too many sad songs for yourself. The universe already hates you. Self-pity isn't going to help.

It doesn't matter if you and everyone else in the room are thinking it. You don't say the words. Words are weapons. They blast big bloody holes in the world. And words are bricks. Say something out loud and it starts turning solid. Say it loud enough and it becomes a wall you can't get through.

When you're born in a burning house, you think the whole world is on fire. But it's not.

When you jump off a cliff, is it better to land on jagged rocks or burning lava? I know this one. The answer is obvious: It doesn't matter where you land. You just jumped off a cliff.

All losers are romantics. It's what keeps us from blowing our brains out.

We must always look after our friends, even when they are foolish. Especially when they are foolish.

Being able to embrace contradictions is a sign of intelligence. Or insanity.

I'm steel-toed boots in a ballet-slipper world.

As sweet as it feels, I can't lie here forever curled up in a big ball of fuck-the-world.

No hospitals, she says. I know. Where are we going? For ice cream. What's your favorite flavor? Fuck you. That's my favorite, too.

That's what Glocks are. High-precision killing machines that scream "Daddy Issues.

Revenge is never what you think it's going to be. There's no pleasure and glory, and when it's done your grief remains. Once a man does the things you're talking about, he will never be the same, and he can never go back to who he was before. Worst of all, no matter how many enemies you kill, you are never satisfied. There is always one more who deserves it. When it becomes too easy to kill, it never ends.