Quotes from Richard Kadrey

I'm sweating like a hog tap-dancing in a sauna.

So far, being dead is about as much fun as a barbed-wire G-string. Yes

How did things go?" "On a scale of one to ten, about a negative nine.

When she leaves I look from Daja to the Magistrate. "I think your pet monkey is getting tired. Why don't you throw it a banana and send it home?

Don't fear God Don't worry about death What is good is easy to get and What is terrible is easy to endure

I sit on a leather easy chair. It's the most comfortable piece of furniture in the universe. My ass wants to divorce me and marry it.

How could she explain all my scars? "His mom swaddled him in burlap and razor wire when he was a baby . . .

If I find anything, I'll send you a copy. Leave your address with Maggie on the way out. And that's a hint about where you should be headed right now.

I guess with Heaven closed to mortals, it's been on my mind. Poor slobs living so-called good lives, praying for Heaven and ending up eyeball-deep in shit with all the other losers." "It sounds like you actually feel sorry for the righteous." "Fuck the righteous. I just don't like con jobs. You angels built Heaven and Hell, but you don't want kids playing on your lawns, so you locked everybody out.

I only cut off my enemies' heads. I break my friends' hearts.

So, this really is a crusade after all. And now I'm part of it. Hallelujah.

The 405 is one breakdown away from turning into the Donner Party.

He accepts the cigarettes and says, "Cheers, mate." Then, "What's up with your face? I mean you're an ugly bloke, but today you're top-drawer hideous." Charlotte rolls her eyes. "Jesus, Babadook. He doesn't look that bad." "Are you kidding? My dog died when he saw Freddy Krueger and he isn't half as homely as this geezer.

My ass and back ache like someone gave me a baseball-bat massage.

The furniture looks like it was stolen from the lobby of a fancy hotel trying to pass itself off as folksy.

It would be simpler than dealing with this sideshow.

She hands me back the bottle. The stuff we're drinking is vile. Greasy and fishy, but even flounder-flavored turpentine will taste good when it's the only drink in town.

Sometimes, out in the world . . . being exactly what people want and expect . . . well, maybe it isn't a good thing but it's a smart thing.

What happened to your face?" she says. She pulls down my shirt a few inches. Spots more scars. "And the rest of you." "Never follow a foul ball into a wood chipper," I say. "We didn't even win the game.

I DUMP KASABIAN back in our room over Max Overload around 5 A.M. I didn't even bother putting him back in his bowling bag on the way home. Anyone wandering the streets at that hour deserves to see a severed head singing "Good Vibrations.

I know a killer when I see one and he's one cold Charlie Starkweather motherfucker.

Next you'll tell me that Mickey Mouse is just a guy in a costume.

The Magistrate says, "I am a student of human nature, did you know that, Mr. Pitts?" "It beats beekeeping, I guess." He smiles infinitesimally.

I guess, if someone was really kicking your ass, you'd want them to be special. I mean, I'd rather have Batman kick my ass than Mickey Mouse any day.