Quotes from Lori Gottlieb

therapy works best when people start getting better—when they feel less depressed or anxious, or the crisis has passed. Now they're less reactive, more present, more able to engage in the work.

Reacting vs. responding = reflexive vs. chosen. We can choose our response, Frankl was saying, even under the specter of death.

The price of loving so deeply is feeling so deeply—but it's also a gift, the gift of being alive.

some point in our lives, we have to let go of the fantasy of creating a better past.

Are you apologizing because it makes you feel better or because it will make the other person feel better? Are you sorry for what you've done or are you simply trying to placate the other person who believes you should be sorry for the thing you feel completely justified in having done? Who is the apology for?

There's a difference between pain and suffering," Wendell says. "You're going to have to feel pain—everyone feels pain at times—but you don't have to suffer so much.

Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances.

A therapist will hold up the mirror in the most compassionate way possible, but it's up to the patient to take a good look at that reflection, to stare back at it and say, "Oh, isn't that interesting! Now what?" instead of turning away.

There's another related concept that I share with John: impermanence. Sometimes in their pain, people believe that the agony will last forever. But feelings are actually more like weather systems: They blow in and they blow out. Just because you feel sad this minute or this hour or this day doesn't mean you'll feel that way in ten minutes or this afternoon or next week. Everything you feel – anxiety, elation, anguish – blows in and out again.

Before diagnosing people with depression, make sure they're not surrounded by assholes"), his

ou trabalho duro. Significa estar no meio dessas coisas e ainda assim ter calma no coração.

If you sign up for intimacy, getting hurt is part of the deal.

Your feelings don't have to mesh with what you think they should be," he explained.

Hell is other people.It´s true - the world is filled with diffucult people...but sometimes - more often - than we tend to realize - those diffucult peopel are us.

What's the difference between settling and compromising? When it comes to marriage, what can we live with, and what can we live without? How long does it make sense to hold out for someone better—who we may never find, and who may not exist or be available to us even if he did—when we could be happy with the person right in front of us?

They'll be there regardless, so you might as well welcome them because they hold important clues.

I worry about them", she says. "I worry all the time." "Maybe", I say, "instead of worrying about them, you can love them.

What does it matter what age you are when that happens? Either way, you won't get today back.

In the early sessions, it's always more important for patients to feel heard and understood than it is for them to gain any insight or make any changes.

Sharing difficult truths might come with a cost — the need to face them — but there's also a reward: freedom. The truth releases us from shame.

His expression is intense but gentle, a combination of a wise elder and a stuffed animal, and it comes with a message:

how our histories affect the ways we think, feel, and behave and how at some point in our lives, we have to let go of the fantasy of creating a better past.

What people don't like to think about is that you can do everything right—in life or in a treatment protocol—and still get the short end of the stick. And when that happens, the only control you have is how you deal with that stick—your way, not the way others say you should.

As Andrew Solomon wrote in The Noonday Demon: "The opposite of depression isn't happiness, but vitality.