Quotes About Emotions

He would buy me a pair of headphones if I would promise to use them when he was home. Those headphones forever changed the way I listened to music.

At the most basic level, therefore, secure attachments in both childhood and adulthood are established by two individual's sharing a nonverbal focus on the energy flow (emotional states) and a verbal focus on the information-processing aspects (representational processes of memory and narrative) of mental life. The matter of the mind matters for secure attachments.

For "full" emotional communication, one person needs to allow his state of mind to be influenced by that of the other.

Inviting our thoughts and feelings into awareness allows us to learn from them rather than be driven by them.

It's also crucial to keep in mind that no matter how nonsensical and frustrating our child's feelings may seem to us, they are real and important to our child. It's vital that we treat them as such in our response.

Say yes to the feelings, even as you say no to the behavior.

Early experience shapes the structure and function of the brain. This reveals the fundamental way in which gene expression is determined by experience.

when a child is upset, logic often won't work until we have responded to the right brain's emotional needs. We

The key here is that when your child is drowning in a right-brain emotional flood, you'll do yourself (and your child) a big favor if you connect before you redirect.

Trying to change how we actually feel by ordering ourselves to do so is a strategy that goes nowhere, fast.

behavior is communication.

Reduce words Embrace emotions Describe, don't preach Involve your child in the discipline Reframe a no into a conditional yes Emphasize the positive Creatively approach the situation Teach mindsight tools

I'm too angry to have a helpful conversation right now, so I'm going to take some time to calm down, and then we'll talk in a bit.

Rules about respect and behavior aren't thrown out the window simply because a child's left hemisphere is disengaged. For example, whatever behavior is inappropriate in your family—being disrespectful, hurting someone, throwing things—should remain off-limits even in moments of high emotion.

Feelings are not a side component of a life well lived; they are essential ways we live as a whole, embodied being.

brain imaging studies show that the experience of physical pain and the experience of relational pain, like rejection, look very similar in terms of location of brain activity.

The absence of limits and boundaries is actually quite stressful, and stressed kids are more reactive.

noticing not just their words but also their nonverbal patterns of energy and information flow. These signals are the familiar primarily right-hemisphere sent and received elements of eye contact, facial expression, and tone of voice, posture, gesture, and the timing and intensity of response. The

connection calms the nervous system, soothing children's reactivity in the moment and moving them toward a place where they can hear us, learn, and even make their own Whole-Brain decisions. When the emotional gauge gets turned up, connection is the modulator that keeps the feelings from getting too high. Without connection, emotions can continue to spiral out of control.

And our disciplinary decisions go a long way toward determining how strong those connections are. The way we interact with our kids when they're upset significantly affects how their brains develop, and therefore what kind of people they are, both today and in the years to come.

Instead of just reacting to the external actions, you are focusing your attention on what her inner world may be like—red, green, or blue—and communicating to that internal state of your child.

One reason big feelings can be so uncomfortable for small children is that they don't view those emotions as temporary.

The downstairs state of reactivity doesn't know what to do with a lot of upstairs words. Often, in moments of reactivity, nonverbals (like hugs and empathetic facial expressions) will be much more powerful.

when a child is upset, logic often won't work until we have responded to the right brain's emotional needs. We call this emotional connection "attunement,