Quotes About Emotions

we can use these opportunities to realize that at these moments, logic isn't our primary vehicle for bringing some sort of sanity to the conversation. (Seems counterintuitive, doesn't it?) It's also crucial to keep in mind that no matter how nonsensical and frustrating our child's feelings may seem to us, they are real and important to our child. It's vital that we treat them as such in our response.

Once she had connected with him right brain to right brain, it was much easier to connect left to left and deal with the issues in a rational manner. By first connecting with his right brain, she could then redirect with the left brain through logical explanation and planning, which required that his left hemisphere join the conversation.

Scientists talk about these lower areas as being more primitive because they are responsible for basic functions (like breathing and blinking), for innate reactions and impulses (like fight and flight), and for strong emotions (like anger and fear).

Your anger—along with other strong emotions and bodily functions and instincts—springs from your downstairs brain.

Para nosotros, imponer disciplina se reduce a una simple frase: conectar y redirigir. Nuestra primera respuesta debe ser siempre ofrecer conexión tranquilizadora; a continuación podemos redirigir conductas. Incluso cuando decimos «no» al comportamiento de los niños, siempre hemos de decir «sí» a sus emociones y a su manera de experimentar las cosas.

On the subjective side of reality, resonance can be detected internally as we look to the other and recognize evidence that the other is changed because of our own internal world. We see a tear forming at the edge of the other's eyes as we have just told a sad story. We

No se sentirán tristes o enfadados o dolidos o solos eternamente. Éste es un concepto que al principio les cuesta entender. Cuando sienten dolor o miedo, a veces les resulta difícil imaginar que no van a seguir sufriendo siempre. Ver las cosas a largo plazo no suele ser fácil ni siquiera para un adulto, y mucho menos para un niño pequeño

This is really important information for parents to understand, because it means that all of the abilities on the list above—the behaviors and skills we want and expect our kids to demonstrate, like sound decision making, control of their emotions and bodies, empathy, self-understanding, and morality—are dependent on a part of their brain that hasn't fully developed yet. Since the upstairs brain is still under construction, it isn't capable of fully functioning

The amygdala's job is to quickly process and express emotions, especially anger and fear.

Even if an emotion seems ridiculous to you, don't forget that it's very real to your child, so you don't want to dismiss something that's important to her.

The problem, though, is that especially in children, the amygdala frequently fires up and blocks the stairway connecting the upstairs and downstairs brain.

After retelling the story several times, Bella's fears lessened and eventually went away.

When we say to embrace emotions, we mean that during redirection, parents need to help their kids understand that their feelings are neither good nor bad, neither valid nor invalid. They simply are. There's nothing wrong with getting angry, being sad, or feeling so frustrated that you want to destroy something. But saying it's OK to feel like destroying something doesn't mean it's OK to actually do it.

what we do as a result of our emotions that determines whether our behavior is OK or not OK.

You can feel whatever you feel, but you can't always do whatever you want to do.

contingent response," which means that we attune our response to what our child is actually feeling, in a way that validates what's happening in her mind.

Time-in and the mindful awareness and presence it creates will enable your brain to literally grow more integrative fibers that create your ability to regulate emotions, attention, thinking, and behavior, and your sense of well-being and connections to others will be optimized. If carefully conducted scientific studies did not reveal this, I myself would look at this list and say, "That is too good to be true!

As we'll explain in the coming chapters, these everyday parenting challenges result from a lack of integration within your child's brain. The

my behavior is no longer under my conscious control.

emotionally autonomous existence.

upset, logic often won't work until we have responded to the right brain's emotional needs.

We don't want our children to hurt. But we also want them to do more than simply get through their difficult times; we want them to face their troubles and grow from them. When Amanda retreated to the left, hiding from all of the painful emotions that were running through her right brain, she denied an important part of herself that she needed to acknowledge.

Instead, by telling the story with Marco, Marianna helped focus his attention both on the actual details of the accident and on his emotions, which allowed him to use both the left and right sides of his brain together, literally strengthening their connection.

Children are particularly vulnerable to becoming the targets of the projection of our nonconscious emotions and unresolved issues.