Quotes About Self-worth

We fail the minute we let someone else define success for us

I wondered, What if I can't keep all of these balls in the air? Why isn't everyone else working harder and living up to my expectations? What will people think if I fail or give up? When can I stop proving myself to everyone? For

Toni Morrison wrote, "Definitions belong to the definers, not the defined," and I learned that I must redefine what I believe is valuable and make sure I'm included within that definition.

we must also remember that our worthiness, that core belief that we are enough, comes only when we live inside our story.

Am I fearful of losing something I value to another person, or do I want something someone else has? If

shame corrodes the part of us that believes we can change and do better.

What's the difference between shame and guilt? The majority of shame researchers and clinicians agree that the difference between shame and guilt is best understood as the differences between "I am bad" and "I did something bad." Guilt = I did something bad. Shame = I am bad.

Creativity, which is the expression of our originality, helps us stay mindful that what we bring to the world is completely original and cannot be compared. And, without comparison, concepts like ahead or behind or worst lose their meaning.

is negatively correlated with self-esteem and positively correlated with narcissism and shame-proneness.

Shame is much more likely to be the cause of destructive behavior than the cure.

our worthiness, that core belief that we are enough, comes only when we live inside our story. We either own our stories (even the messy ones), or we stand outside of them—denying our vulnerabilities and imperfections, orphaning the parts of us that don't fit in with who/what we think we're supposed to be, and hustling for other people's approval of our worthiness. Perfectionism is exhausting because hustling is exhausting. It's a never-ending performance.

Love and belonging are essential to the human experience. As I conducted my interviews, I realized that only one thing separated the research participants who felt a deep sense of love and belonging from the people who seem to be struggling for it. That one thing is the belief in their worthiness. It's as simple and complicated as this: If we want to fully experience love and belonging, we must believe that we are worthy of love and belonging.

Even in the context of suffering—poverty, violence, human rights violations—not belonging in our families is still one of the most dangerous hurts. That's because it has the power to break our heart, our spirit, and our sense of self-worth.

I believe that owning our worthiness is the act of acknowledging that we are sacred.

No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough.

shame is much more likely to be the source of destructive behaviors than it is to be the solution.

In shame-prone cultures, where parents, leaders, and administrators consciously or unconsciously encourage people to connect their self-worth to what they produce, I see disengagement, blame, gossip, stagnation, favoritism, and a total dearth of creativity and innovation.

We have to believe we are enough in order to say, "Enough!

As I mentioned earlier, practicing spirituality brings perspective, meaning, and purpose to our lives. When we allow ourselves to become culturally conditioned to believe that we are not enough and that we don't make enough or have enough, it damages our soul.

We hustle for worthiness by slipping on the emotional and behavioral straitjacket of cool and posturing as the tragically hip and terminally "better than." Being "in control" isn't always about the desire to manipulate situation, but often it's about the need to manage perception. We want to be able to control what other people think about us so that we can feel good enough.

They practice critical awareness by reality-checking the messages and expectations that tell us that being imperfect means being inadequate.

Jean Kilbourne's book, Can't Buy My Love,

Shame comes from outside of us—from the messages and expectations of our culture.

I drank and smoked to minimize my feelings of vulnerability and to look busy when all of the other girls at my table had been asked to dance. I literally needed something to do, something to help me look busy.