Quotes About Insecurity

Perfectionism is not self-improvement. Perfectionism is, at its core, about trying to earn approval. Most perfectionists grew up being praised for achievement and performance (grades, manners, rule following, people pleasing, appearance, sports). Somewhere along the way, they adopted this dangerous and debilitating belief system: I am what I accomplish and how well I accomplish it. Please. Perform. Perfect. Prove.

But for many of us, there is no form of self-expression that makes us feel more vulnerable than dancing. It is full body vulnerability".

For example, when I look at narcissism through the vulnerability lens, I see the shame-based fear of being ordinary.

Finding someone to put down, judge, or criticize becomes a way to get out of the web or call attention away from our box. If you're doing worse than I am at something, I think, my chances of surviving are better.

Shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging.

Shame is the birthplace of perfectionism.

When we compare, we want to be the best or have the best of our group. The comparison mandate becomes this crushing paradox of "Fit in and stand out!" It's not be yourself and respect others for being authentic, it's "Fit in, but win." I want to swim the same workout as you, and beat you at it.

Shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging. 1

it's our fear of the unknown and our fear of being wrong that create most of our conflict and anxiety.

Shame enters for those of us who experience anxiety because not only are we feeling fearful, out of control, and incapable of managing our increasingly demanding lives, but eventually our anxiety is compounded and made unbearable by our belief that if we were just smarter, stronger, or better, we'd be able to handle everything

The combination of fear of disappointment, entitlement, and performance pressure is a recipe for hopelessness and self-doubt.

If you're wondering what happens if you attach your self-worth to your art or your product and people love it, let me answer that from personal and professional experience. You're in even deeper trouble. Everything shame needs to hijack and control your life is in place. You've handed over your self-worth to what people think.

It's normal to feel some level of jealousy, and research shows that in small doses and expressed appropriately, it's a normal part of healthy relationships. I love how the poet Maya Angelou frames it. "Jealousy in romance is like salt in food. A little can enhance the savor, but too much can spoil the pleasure and, under certain circumstances, can be life-threatening.

In fact, all of us are very susceptible to having our humiliating experiences turn to shame, especially when the person who is putting us down is someone with whom we have a valued relationship or someone whom we perceive to have more power than we do...

Shame is the intensely powerful feeling or experience of believing we are flawed and therefore unworthy of acceptance or belonging.

Perfectionism is, at its core, about trying to earn approval and acceptance.

I define narcissism as the shame-based fear of being ordinary.

If we want to know why we're all so afraid to let our true selves be seen and known, we have to understand the power of shame and fear. If we can't stand up to the never good enough and who do you think you are? we can't move forward.

Where perfectionism exists, shame is always lurking. In fact, shame is the birthplace of perfectionism.

Perfectionism is more about perception than internal motivation, and there is no way to control perception, no matter how much time and energy we spend trying.

childhood experiences of shame change who we are, how we think about ourselves, and our sense of self-worth.

Being onstage is comfortable for me because it's my work, but put me in the middle of a cocktail party and you'll find me with a frozen smile, wishing I could curl up under a table in the fetal position.

Children experience shame as the threat of being unlovable.

Am I fearful of losing something I value to another person, or do I want something someone else has? If