Quotes About Funny

I'm not a very serious person. You know how they say that clowns are very funny in public and are really sad at home? I'm really kind of stupid at home and more serious in public.

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out.

There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God.

See you in the funny papers," he said. Jaunty, he reminded himself; always jaunty. In my panache is their hope for salvation.

Elections are always a little bit funny. People start saying things and emphasizing differences. After the election, my hope is, is that people start emphasizing what we have in common.

I don't think know if anything's going to translate anywhere. You're making a movie, you hope it's going to be funny, you can't think about how it's going to go over.

I've worked a lot with Noah Baumbach, and he doesn't make it easy to like his characters, but the stories are funny and witty and there's an edge to that kind of humanity.

Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

So, have you heard about the oyster who went to a disco and pulled a mussel?

I'm in shape. Round is a shape.

If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be messed-up.

Another term for balloon is bad breath holder.

I've never been to a hotel with a rotating restaurant on top, but one time I took my girlfriend to a merry-go-round, and I gave her a burrito.

Thank you for calling the Weight Loss Hotline. If you'd like to lose a half pound right now, press 1 eighteen thousand times.

My wife had her drivers' test the other day. She got 8 out of 10. The other 2 guys jumped clear.

Kittens play with yarn, they bat it around. What they're really doing is saying, "I can't knit, get this away from me!"

You can always tell somebody's sense of humor by if they like this movie or not.

Humor is an escape, because you cannot think about your problems when you are trying to be funny; so, in essence, "being a humorist" gives you a valid excuse to hide from your pain.

Procrastinate now, don't put it off.

I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day. Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

Nothing is as universal as some good scatalogical humor. Even if it means having to be a little silly or cheeky, I think it is worth it.

Have you seen the new Polish jigsaw puzzle? One piece.

One matter Englishmen don't think in the least funny is their happy consciousness of possessing a deep sense of humor.

I do find that humor helps in relationships. It certainly helps in my marriage now because I'm a very, very fallible person. And if I wasn't funny I'd be kicked right out the door.