Quotes About Funny

One of the funniest things about Mr. Kaufman is that all of his filmed scripts - 'Being John Malkovich,' 'Human Nature,' 'Adaptation' and now 'Sunshine' - sound like titles from REM's 'Reckoning.'

Well, one of the myths early on that I think is one of the funnier things we've done is airline toilet seats. That one was about a large woman that sat down on a seat in an airline and flushed the toilet and got stuck on it.

I like getting toilet paper thrown at me.

To think of Tolstoy eating a sandwich is intrinsically kind of funny.

My self-confidence can be measured out in teaspoons mixed into my poetry, and it still always tastes funny in my mouth.

She was an idiot. An adorable, gorgeous, feisty, funny, sweet, sexy idiot.

Put the bad poetry in the mouths of outlandish characters. It might make bad poetry funny instead of sad.

My sister was with two men in one night. She could hardly walk after that. Can you imagine? Two dinners!

I practically fall on the floor laughing.

Think of something to say. Keep him here. Something funny and interesting and cool. "I put my wellies on because I was sure it was going to rain and now my feet are getting horribly moist," Ellie said, and it was the single worst thing she'd ever said to anyone.

It's a required part of your film history to know who Woody is. His movies are so wonderful, and not just funny but so insightful about human behavior.

Q: What do you call a sleeping bull? A: A bulldozer.

Q: Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? A: In case he got a hole in one.

Q: What's the speed limit of sex? A: Sixty-eight. Because at 69 you have to turn around.

Q: What's the square root of 69? A: Ate something.

Q: What do you call a bunny with a crooked penis? A: Fucks funny.

Q: What kind of bees give you milk? A: Boobees.

Q: What did the blonde say when she opened the box of Cheerios? A: "Honey, look at this—doughnut seeds.

Q: What's invisible and smells like carrots? A: Easter Bunny farts.

Waiter, waiter! This soup tastes funny. Then why aren't you laughing?

The music industry is really funny, when you have a hit record, everyone knows who are you, everyone wants to do duets with you, then if you have a miss, people suffer from amnesia.

Time was a funny and fickle thing. Sometimes there was never enough of it, and other times it stretched out endlessly.

It's great to be able to pretend you're tough but funny at the same time.

Most of the time, my favorite drama has comedy in it as well. I think most good dramas have comedy in there. And all of the dramatic actors I look up to are also very funny.