Quotes About Experience

My act is very educational. I heard a man leaving the other night saying, 'Well that taught me a lesson'.

I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.

We all learn by experience but some of us have to go to summer school.

Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.

I have discovered in 20 years of moving around a ballpark, that the knowledge of the game is usually in inverse proportion to the price of the seats.

Ou don't realize how easy this game is until you get up in that broadcasting booth.

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.

If you dont drink, then all of your stories suck and end with, And then I got home...

Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.

Having children makes you no more a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist.

A man doesn't know what happiness is until he's married. By then it's too late.

I learned a long time ago that minor surgery is when they do the operation on someone else, not you.

Experience is a good teacher, but she sends in terrific bills.

A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.

My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.

Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children.

Fame will go by and, so long, I've had you, fame. If it goes by, I've always known it was fickle. So at least it's something I experience, but that's not where I live.

You never know what life is like, until you have lived it.

I learned to walk as a baby and I haven't had a lesson since.

For those who are poor in happiness, each time is a first time; happiness never becomes a habit.

In Rockford I decided that I had seen enough of the world.

We should all start to live before we get too old.

You miss so much when you're young. It's fine to be old. So exciting. And I'm not going to retire.

When I read the words, "a woman has the power to…change her experience," I knew overcoming my fear that my father would come into my room, even after he was dead, would be one of my biggest challenges. Because he had come in so many hundreds of times, I had been indelibly conditioned. I guess that's why I call it the "work" of healing. It is grueling, nose-to-the-grindstone-work to change long held beliefs and accompanying emotions…but it can be done.