Quotes About Experience

When I came here, I couldn't speak a word of English, but my sex life was perfect. Now my English is perfect but my sex life is rubbish.

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.

So I said, 'Where do you want to go for your anniversary?' She said: 'I want to go somewhere I've never been before.' I said, 'Try the kitchen.'

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.

When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.

My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar - I went steady with a woodpecker till I was twenty-one.

The trouble with young writers is that they are all in their sixties.

Politics is perhaps the only profession for which no preparation is thought necessary.

Age does not protect you from love. But love, to some extent, protects you from age.

Forty is the old age of youth; fifty is the youth of old age.

First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down.

It takes a long time to become young.

Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.

Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.

You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything. You only have to remember it.

Whenever the talk turns to age, I say I am 49 plus VAT.

As you get older, the pickings get slimmer, but the people don't.

As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two...

Yes, time flies. And where did it leave you? Old too soon...smart too late.

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.

We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience.