Quotes About Experience

It's like learning to ride a unicorn. You never forget.

Y'all smoke to enjoy it. I smoke to die.

We all pay for life with death, so everything in between should be free.

My experience is to deal with things through humor.

Buy a condom, ribbed for her pleasure. Turn it inside out, now it's ribbed for your pleasure.

We learn from history that we learn nothing from history.

When you eat a lot of spicy food, you can lose your taste. When I was in India last summer, I was listening to a lot of Michael Bolton.

The things we laugh at are awful while they are going on, but get funny when we look back. And other people laugh because they've been through it too. The closest thing to humor is tragedy.

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

She was old too, when she went to school they didn't have history.

I tried to hang myself with a bungee cord. I kept almost dying.

I used to do drugs. I still do drugs. But I used to, too.

Old age is fifteen years older than I am.

Old people have fewer diseases than the young, but their diseases never leave them.

I've never been to a hotel with a rotating restaurant on top, but one time I took my girlfriend to a merry-go-round, and I gave her a burrito.

A hooker once told me she had a headache.

I used to be a hot-tar roofer. Yeah, I remember that... day.

I was coming home from kindergarten - well they told me it was kindergarten. I found out later I had been working in a factory for ten years. It's good for a kid to know how to make gloves.

Ordinary folk prefer familiar tastes - they'd sooner eat the same things all the time - but a gourmet would sample a fried park bench just to know how it tastes.

Oh, to be seventy again!

I understand small business growth. I was one.

I tried to like it. For me, it was like being smacked around the head by a piece of IKEA furniture: it hurts, but you've got to admire the workmanship.

if you make waffles, throw out the first one.

I don't know if you've ever fallen asleep whilst eating a plate of cauliflower, and then woken up, and thought you were in the clouds.