Quotes About Family

Pity the poor infant. Born perfect into the world from imperfect parents.

My mother was so house proud that when my father got up to sleepwalk she had the bed made by the time he got back.

When I was a kid my family was really poor and I remember one Halloween I wanted to dress up really scary and my parents came home with a duck costume. I wore that costume for years! I hated it.

It's funny, but I was just thinking I wouldn't mind a repeat of that boring evening when we elapsed to 1953," said Gideon. "Just you and me and Cousin Sofa.

My parents never understood me; they were Japanese.

We used to sleep five to a bed and three of them used to wet the bed. I learnt to swim before I could walk.

Senescence begins And middle-age ends The day your descendants Outnumber your friends

Do your kids a favor - don't have any.

That is not all I need. I need dogs. A house filled with dogs and a smart, funny, kind, loving girlfriend or wife.

I think I'm funny because my family, my siblings were funny.

What a father says to his children is not heard by the world, but it will be heard by posterity.

That's the funniest thing about portraying certain things on screen, sitting next to your parents and they get to see this glimpse of me kissing another guy.

I guess the only thing to do now is meet his parents. I'm sure they're decent people. I mean they gotta be if they named their son Gaylord Focker.

I refuse to admit that I am more than 52, even if that makes my children illegitimate.

I bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas. I took it to the gift wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping.

The 'Billionaire' song is what my kids tease me with. They sing it to me. It's funny.

My mother used to rock me - and she used big rocks.

My dad's dying wish was to have his family around him. I can't help thinking he would have been better off with more oxygen.

We have far too many kids. At one time in the playpen there was standing-room only. It looked like a bus stop for midgets. It used to get so damp in there, we'd have a rainbow above it.

I realized my family was funny, because nobody ever wanted to leave our house.

We named all our children Kid. Well, they have different first names, like Hey Kid, You Kid, Dumb Kid . . .

Parenthood is the passing of a baton, followed by a lifelong disagreement as to who dropped it.

I come from a stupid family. My father worked in a bank. They caught him stealing pens.

My cousin had a baby and I was watching her breastfeed for a couple of bucks, and I'll tell you ladies: it's amazing.