Quotes About Family

There was plenty of dysfunction in my family and I went to Catholic School with these psychotic nuns. I would always try to be funny to lighten the mood.

Better a loving single-parent family than a 'conventional' family where the parents hate each other and the father is a demagogue.

No self-respecting mother would run out of intimidations on the eve of a major holiday.

My family's always been really funny. I feel like comedy's hard. I feel like it's so important.

My daddy. He's so funny! My whole family jokes around a lot.

Every parent knows that for a kid, the car is chloroform.

I always thought that my canine family tended to view me as the funny-looking two-legged dog who runs the can opener.

The reason I'm not an alcoholic is I don't like to drink in front of the kids . . . and when you're away from them, who needs it?.

Since my daughter is only half-Jewish, could she go in the water up to her knees?

There's always time for arguin' when you're a Fuentes.

My wife, my daughters, even my grandchildren are funny. You've got to keep a sense of humor because anger destroys you.

All mothers are slightly insane.

My parents always told me to be myself. I was always funny and silly as a kid. And I would always make them laugh. And they always told me to dream big and follow those dreams.

I grew up in a funny way.

I guess we were kinda poor when we were kids, but we didn't know it. That's because my dad always refused to let us look at the family's financial records.

I am the shortest and least funny person in my family.

Elena, my four year old, says to me in all seriousness; "Mommy, you need to buy another baby".

My father was funnier than me. My father was Richard Pryor-funny. I'm just a better businessman.

My kids are funny. They won't eat the heels on a loaf of bread. So I patiently explained to them that they eat rolls, and rolls are all crust, just like heels...and now they won't eat rolls!

If I raised my hand to wipe the hair out of my children's eyes, they'd flinch and call their attorney.

Grandma told me Mama was once caught by the Principal for writing in the front of her book, "In Case of Fire, Throw This in First." I have never had so much respect for Mama as the day I heard this.

My father must have had some elementary education for he could read and write and keep accounts inaccurately

The first thing that I learned - and I understood it at a really young age - was that I could get a laugh. Really early. Because my mother and father are funny.

I grew up with four brothers, and in the back of my head I feel pretty masculine. It's always funny when I hear recordings of my voice, because it's so deep when I hear it in my head.