Quotes About Family

It's funny, the whole cooking thing came out of just a random thought of writing a cookbook with my mom and my sister for fun.

I was funny around my family. My family, they're pretty funny, too.

I had a very funny family.

Mother, you have my father much offended.

Home is where, when you go there and tell people to get out, they have to leave.

Ethan Wyeth: I hope you're thirsty."Gideon Wyeth:"Why?"Ethan: "Cause your dumb and ugly, but I can do something about thirsty.

Eoin Colfer, Artemis Fowl

Satan impregnated my mother one lovely spring morning. We didn't have the heart to tell my father.

Maybe it was me, " Grandma said."Sometimes they sneak out.Did I fart?

How did I end up in this situation? I'm the district sales manager of a napkin factor. Why is my daughter in space?

This is where you all live?" Asked John as they ascended the stairs. "It's small.""This is just our Thanksgiving house, " Scott muttered. "We have a house for every day of the year.

Why would Dad call you? I mean, you have to admit that he would have been better off calling the local prison and asking them to send out one of the convicted killers to come find me. - Shella

If a tie is like kissing your sister, losing is like kissing your grandmother with her teeth out.

He had a real mother, and a stepfather named Bart who Martin called Fart but only with his brothers and James

I hate you.'My sister said it different than she said it to my dad. She meant it with me. She really did.'I love you, ' was all I could say in return.

I know what you mean. I usually take it out on my older sister. You can lease her for a weekend or something if you need a psychological punching bag. I'll even give you a discount.

How in the world do you tellyour wife that her mother was born a unicon?

You know, Hope is also rather interesting, there's just not two of her, Dad teased Nona

You are my flesh and blood and I have always doted on you, but right now I would have to say you deserve a haughty, ruined chit for your own and she deserves you.

I squinted at her. "You're an adult." "You're an adult too." "But you're an older adult. You've had more practice." Mom leaned back and laughed.

Soon she cried and farted herself to sleep.

Having a kid is like an industrial revolution of the emotions. Suddenly you can mass produce worry, and guilt.

Our parents would not be 'The best parents in the world' (to us) if they were not our parents.

A family is a group of people who keep confusing you with someone you were as a kid.