Quotes About Support

empathy is the strongest antidote for shame. It's not just about having our needs for empathy met; shame resilience requires us to be able to respond empathically to others.

Requiere mucho coraje compartir tu dolor con alguien.Y exige todavía más hacerlo dos veces, en especial si en la primera ocasión no te escucharon.

Often, this requires a shift in language from "You are wrong here" to "There's something that needs to change." It is a completely different physical, cognitive, emotional, and spiritual experience when someone is on your side and helping you through the hurdle rather than pointing out your participation in the problem.

Social interaction makes us live longer, healthier lives. By a lot. Pinker writes, "In fact, neglecting to keep in close contact with people who are important to you is at least as dangerous to your health as a pack-a-day cigarette habit, hypertension, or obesity.

Asking leaders to answer this question is almost always difficult because they quickly move to believing that if people are doing the best they can, they don't know how to lead them. Their strategies of pushing and grinding on the same issues must give way to the difficult tasks of teaching their team, reassessing their skill gaps, reassigning them, or letting them go.

Real empathy takes more than words—it takes work. Empathy is not simply knowing the right thing to say to someone who is experiencing shame. Our words are only as effective as our ability to be genuinely present and engaged with someone as she tells her story.

If we take a closer look at the origin of the word compassion, much like we did with courage, we see why compassion is not typically our first response to suffering. The word compassion is derived from the Latin words pati and cum, meaning "to suffer with

Permission slips aren't promissory notes, they are for stating and writing down intentions only, so there are no repercussions if you fail to deliver; however, they are useful for increasing accountability and the potential for support, and also for understanding where everyone in the room is coming from.

Get a one-inch by one-inch piece of paper and write down the names of the people whose opinions of you matter ... the people on your list should be the people who love you not despite your vulnerability and imperfections, but because of them.

Shame is a social emotion. Shame happens between people and it heals between people. Even if I feel it alone, shame is the way I see myself through someone else's eyes. Self-compassion is often the first step to healing shame—we need to be kind to ourselves before we can share our stories with someone else.

As leaders I certainly believe we all want to do the right thing, but we don't always have the bandwidth or experience to take care of someone the way they need to be taken care of.

Most of us are good at giving help, but when it comes to vulnerability, we need to ask for help too.

Talk to yourself like you talk to someone you love.

The prerequisite for real empathy is compassion. We can only respond empathically if we are willing to be present to someone's pain.

nurture cultures and conditions that allow good people to do what they do best,

connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.

as members of a social species, we don't derive strength from our rugged individualism, but rather from our collective ability to plan, communicate, and work together.

One of the most surprising things that unfolded in my research is the pairing of certain terms. I can't separate the concepts of love and belonging because when people spoke of one, they always talked about the other.

At work, we need to support healthy rumbles with vulnerability, to respect boundaries, and to practice calm in the sea of anxiety.

The bottom line is that we need each other. And not just the civilized, proper, convenient kind of need. Not one of us gets through this life without expressing desperate, messy, and uncivilized need. The kind we are reminded of when we come face-to-face with someone who is in a deep struggle.

One reason empathy and compassion are so powerful is the fact that they say to someone, "I can hear this. This is hard, but I can be in this space with you.

Rather than being a tool for connection, sympathy emerged in the data as a form of disconnection. Sympathy is removed: When someone says, "I feel sorry for you" or "That must be terrible," they are standing at a safe distance. Rather than conveying the powerful "me too" of empathy, it communicates "not me," and then adds, "But I do feel for you." Sympathy is more likely to be a shame trigger than something that heals shame.

This means that if we do not have a sense of caring toward someone we lead and/or we don't feel connected to that person, we have two options: Develop the caring and connection or find a leader who's a better fit. There's no shame in this

Love belongs with belonging.