Quotes About Support

Advice Giving/Problem Solving I can fix this and I can fix you. Sometimes when we see pain our first instinct is to fix it. This is especially true for those of us whom people seek out to help with problem-solving. In these instances, rather than listen and be with people in their emotion, we start fixing.

The Center for Complicated Grief at Columbia is another tremendous resource.

The need is for someone to be fully present to the magnitude of their loss without trying to point out the silver lining.

the people who love me, the people I really depend on, were never the critics who were pointing at me while I stumbled. They weren't in the bleachers at all. They were with me in the arena. Fighting for me and with me. . . . it's a waste of time to evaluate my worthiness by weighing the reaction of the people in the stands. The people who love me and will be there regardless of the outcome are within arm's reach.

Rather than judgment (which exacerbates shame), empathy conveys a simple acknowledgment, "You're not alone.

A deep sense of love and belonging is an irreducible need of all women, men, and children.

Nothing has transformed my life more than realizing that it's a waste of time to evaluate my worthiness by weighing the reaction of the people in the stands. The people who love me and will be there regardless of the outcome are within arm's reach.

My therapist, Diana, retired at the end of our work together (I know, don't say it).

regardless of our intentions, we can't force people to make positive changes by putting them down, threatening them with rejection, humiliating them in front of others or belittling them.

Empathy is a strange and powerful thing. There is no script. There is no right way or wrong way to do it. It's simply listening, holding space, withholding judgment, emotionally connecting, and communicating that incredibly

Asking for help is a power move. It's a sign of strength to ask and a sign of strength to fight off judgment when other people raise their hands. It reflects a self-awareness that is an essential element in braving trust.

Who do you call to work through the mean-nasties or the cry 'n' hides or the people-pleasing? 4. What's the most courageous thing you could do for yourself when you feel small and hurt?

The Shelter of Each Other: Rebuilding Our Families,

her job was creating the space for others to perform.

The friend who is all about making it better and, out of her own discomfort, refuses to acknowledge that you can actually be crazy and make terrible choices: "You're exaggerating. It wasn't that bad. You rock. You're perfect. Everyone loves you.

I ultimately worked the AA program for a year, and let me just tell you, all the slogans are true. It does look like a Saturday Night Live skit where there are ten posters hanging in a row on a wood-paneled wall in a church basement, but they are the damn truth, and if you live by them, they will rock your world.

when you're on your path, the universe will conspire to help you.

We are biologically, cognitively, physically, and spiritually wired to love, to be loved, and to belong. When those needs are not met, we don't function as we were meant to.

Living without connection—without knowing love and belonging—is not victory.

When it comes to vulnerability, connectivity means sharing our stories with people who have earned the right to hear them—people

If you want to kick-start your shame resilience and story-claiming, start with these questions. Figuring out the answers can change your life: Who do you become when you're backed into that shame corner? How do you protect yourself? Who do you call to work through the mean-nasties or the cry-n-hides or the people-pleasing? What's the most courageous thing you could do for yourself when you feel small and hurt?

I'm with you. In the arena. And when we fail, we'll fail together, while daring greatly.

When we're looking for compassion, we need someone who is deeply rooted, able to bend, and, most of all, we need someone who embraces us for our strengths and struggles. We need to honor our struggle by sharing it with someone who has earned the right to hear it. When we're looking for compassion, it's about connecting with the right person at the right time about the right issue.

We invite compassion onto our lives when we act compassionately toward ourselves and others, and we feel connected in our lives when we reach out and connect.